10 weeks

Still surreal.

I find myself so busy these days with fabulous fall fun, that my tears aren't flowing as often as I wish they would.
But just as I start to beat myself up about not crying, I open Thayer's t-shirt drawer and the faucet turns on again.
In a way, I am so relieved that I am able to feel this saddness. And at the same time, I am amazed at how God has created me.
I am finding joy all around me and yet I can still mourn.
God has done an amazing work in me... by preparing me to be able to meet the challenge of Thayer's death. There is no way I'd be engaged in life if God weren't right here, holding me together.
I am so thankful.
Sad... but thankful.

Beautiful, Beautiful

by Francesca Battistelli

Don't know how it is you looked at me

and saw the person that I could be

Awakening my heart, breaking through the dark

Suddenly Your Grace

Like sunlight burning at midnight

Making my life something so beautiful, beautiful

Mercy reaching to save me, all that I need

You are so beautiful, beautiful

Now there's a joy inside I can't contain

But even perfect days can end in rain

And though it's pouring down, I see You through the clouds

Shining on my face

I have come undone, but I have just begun,

Changing by Your Grace