However, I do need to pause for a moment to address this day.
On my calendar for August 16th is a hand drawn heart with "2008" written next to it.
I've been gearing up for this day, as usual. Every year is different.
This year, I've been happily distracted for a few weeks as we are adjusting to being a family of four again.
To keep with tradition, I have a family dinner planned on Saturday, in memory of Thayer's birthday. He would have been 47.
Greg and I were just talking about how Thayer will always be 37. I wonder how he would have aged? I see his family members and I get an idea....but who really knows?
After my jog this morning, I took a few moments to reflect on Thayer, his impact on our family, and just how much has changed since his exit.
Nine years has been a long time. I've said before that it feels like another life. It was.
Thinking of Thayer, I smile. And this morning I was surprised that I only shed a single tear. As it rolled down my cheek, I thought about how much grief changes over time. Even typing this... I am in awe of the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful things I have learned through my grieving. (I'm pretty sure I could muster up a big cry right now.... but I want to embrace my current happy.)
Nine years.
I'm living a life, now, that I never imagined, and it has caught me by surprise.
The boys are unfazed as usual by the date.
They are aware that we'll be commemorating Thayer's birthday as usual.
I always wonder how they process things.
Daniel mentioned that he thought it had been longer than 9 years.
How quickly time gets away from us.
