that time I threw my phone in a pool

Hours before, or maybe minutes before, I had admitted how I felt addicted to my phone.   Over the past few weeks while my boys were preoccupied... I found myself, with phone in hand, habitually checking Facebook and email, Facebook and email, Facebook and email.

Then as if ordained by God I stood up poolside, picked up my towel and slung that phone into the pool.   It was a fairly humorous accident.  As I stood in horror and disbelief it sunk to the bottom and I hesitated before I clumsily jumped in to rescue.
Since my pool host and myself are less than stellar chefs, there was no rice available for the immediate first aid.
I drove home and hit up The Neighbours for a bag of brown rice.   I covered the phone and set it aside for 3 days.
That's right, folks.   Almost 72 hours without my cell phone.

And my conclusion:
IT WAS AWESOME!!

That pool drowning was the best thing that could have happened to me on that hot Saturday.   It was as if the clouds had parted and my vision was clear again!
I know that sounds so dramatic.   But is WAS!

I instantly noticed how I was present in my life again.   There was no phone in the car, no phone at a red light, no phone at dinner, no phone during family talks, no phone while I was hanging out with friends.     There were no dings, no notifications, no blinking lights to distract me from the moment I was in.
It was like I was living "old school" again.    It felt good.

For three days I waited to see if the rice would work and wondered if I really wanted that ball and chain back.
A little soul searching revealed that I am the master of my domain.  I can regain control of this situation and reclaim a non distracted lifestyle.  
I had a taste of freedom and I liked it.

Earlier today I shook off the rice, assembled the phone.... and it worked!  whew!
I immediately uninstalled Facebook and Messenger.
I reset my notification settings for text messaging and email.

Bam!  Just like that... I turned that puppy back into a basic phone.  
Just like I wanted all along.
You can call me, leave a message... because I'm busy.  with living.

38

I turned 38 this month.   It was a milestone for me.
For the past several years I had anticipated 38 to be a rough birthday.

Thayer died three days before his 38th birthday.

My birthday came and went.... and was actually one of the best birthday weeks I've had.

Two days before my 38th birthday I realized that I have lived longer than Thayer.  
The thought was not nearly as emotional and sad as I had anticipated.
There is a bit of pride in making it 38 years.   I somehow wonder if I'm nearly as mature as Thayer seemed to be in his last days?   Have I surpassed him in any way?


Thayer was always the one I counted on to take care of our family and make the decisions.   He always seemed knowledgeable and wise about stuff.   Mostly because he was seven years older than me and had learned a lot of life lessons.
I learned much from him.
And now I'm older.  

It's just odd.

Thayer had grown up in the midst of many trials, and yet my biggest trial was his death.   Thayer was never able to see me grow and mature through the trials of life.  

The first few years after his death, when confronted with life stuff, I could still hear his advice.... his common sense.   I knew what he would say in certain situations.  I based many of my decisions on his silent voice.
Well... that was until I was tired of having imaginary conversations with a dead husband, and would often say outloud, "Well... you're not here!"....
and I learned to be rather independent.  :)

But now... even if I search for his silent voice I rarely hear him.  I don't have a clue how he would handle teenagers, what he would do in certain situations, or what our family would be like.
How would he make decisions as a 44 year old?
Looks like it's up to me at this point.

I've always been sad that we couldn't grow old together.   And it's a bit depressing as I continue to age, and he remains the same...  Frozen in pictures and in our minds.  Always 37.

The rest of us continue to age, grow, mature.   I am very thankful for that opportunity.   I am thankful for the time with my boys, my family and friends.  
Each day is a truly a gift.  
I am hopeful that my 39th year will be the best yet!

whatev

Week 2 of kids being out of school.
Last week I posted this list on my fridge:

It's not going so well.

Daniel never reads... because he doesn't want screen time.... (except late at night to watch a movie).   Daniel is outside ALL day....
but now Lucas is starting to catch on that I'm not consistent with Daniel and the list.

Daniel seems to understand my ideal summer would include locking them outside and telling them to be home in time for dinner.  He's getting pretty good at this concept.

Lucas on the other hand manages to wake up early and complete most of this list before I'm even out of the shower... so that he can start the video games.  The first three days of  "creative" outdoor activities included these winners:
(Clearly I'm very patient)

Day 1

Day 2.  

Day 3

Then there's me.
I have spent the last two days binge watching Chasing Life on Netflix.   Clearly not setting an example for these boys.

But I have to remind myself that it's summer!    I think we all deserve some days to CHILL!

We are coming up on days and weeks that are filled with activities.    I'm hoping that the screen time dilemna will fix itself as we are out and about this summer.  
Our spontaneous camping trips and lake trips should help a lot.

I thought about implementing time restrictions, or certain times of day that I would allow the screens. (You know... Actually being a parent and having rules)
But my reality says that every day this summer will be different for us and it would be nearly impossible to stay consistent.
We'll see what shakes out.

sandwiches

Okay.  I want to weigh in on the recent news about a cafeteria woman being fired after she fed lunches to kids who didn't have money for lunch.   (I didn't read extensively.... so I'm just going off of one article.)

I tried to explain my position to my mom earlier today... and failed drastically.   So let me see if I can clarify.  Forgive me if I still don't make any sense.

To my understanding, the school policy, in that particular school is that if kids don't qualify for free or reduced lunch, and if they don't have lunch money.... the school provides them with a cheese sandwich and milk.  
The cafeteria worker had deemed that this was not sufficient, and proceeded to serve the full lunch to "crying" kids.

I'm all for kids eating. Especially crying kids.  Really I am.   But I'm also a fan of policies that help prevent people from taking advantage of the system.

My family does not qualify for the free or reduced lunch program.
 I send check after check to school each month for my kids to put in their "lunch accounts".   My kids seem to peel through this money... and I haven't been a real stickler this year to see how many 'extras' they are buying..... like special drinks or desserts.
I'm a parent who gets reminder emails when their accounts get low.   The emails usually show up when their balances are 8 or 9 dollars.
I will admit that I have been slack about reading the emails these past few weeks.  I figured that the kids would remind me when they got a verbal warning from the lunch lady.

It just so happened that earlier this week Lucas came home and said that his account was empty.    He proceeded to tell me that he had to give back the full lunch and was given..... surprise!...... a cheese sandwich and a cup for water.
 It was no surprise to him.....No money = No lunch.    He was fine.
I was thankful that they fed him!  Seriously.   I had forgotten to send money, and yet they still provided food.... Free of charge!

I've never witnessed any child die of starvation after eating cheese and bread for lunch.  I'm thankful that he lived to tell me about it.

Call me heartless.   But I am glad that there are policies in place to remind parents, like myself, to send in the dang lunch money!
If the polices of cheese sandwiches didn't exist.... why in the world would any of us, that are able, EVER send in money?  What would be the point to be responsible for feeding our own kids?   It would be free lunch for everyone, all of the time.   (Which wouldn't be so bad, eh?)

I have a feeling that the fired lunch lady wasn't fired on one account of feeding kids.  I have a feeling that she probably fed the same kids over and over.   Which reinforced to the slacker parents that they didn't need to pay.
See the cycle?

A cheese sandwich would have sufficed.
 It's much more than other kids, all over the planet, get for lunch.
Our American entitlement irks me.     And I fear that we are raising a generation of entitled kids.

I think we could all have a lesson in gratitude.... for our country, our resources, and plans in place that provide food to kids.   Even cheese sandwiches.

I would love to see  more kids, including mine say, "thanks for the sandwich."