home ownership

Whew!  I  need to chill out.
I had thought I was a pretty chill person.  about most things.  My kids can get bloody and broken and I can convince myself to remain calm.

But tonight, when we came home from skating... I just happened to notice a box, in the corner of my unfinished basement room, looked wet.  I thank God that I noticed.   It's rare that I notice anything in that room. 

I then noticed that there was a puddle of water behind the box, and all along the wall that adjoins to my finished basement!!!    The carpet in the other room was wet too!!!
And  many of you know that our basement is NEW, as of last year.   I went into panic mode to determine what could be leaking!  I ran up to check the outside faucet... thinking that the hose may have been left running.  

By then, the kids noticed my panic and joined in.  

I ran back downstairs to check on the emergency cut-off valve for the same outside faucet.   Had to get a ladder and pry a little cover thingy open.   Upon inspection of the insulation and the pipe (that I could feel) there was no water leaking.  I still had worries that a pipe was leaking from above, or something was seeping up through the floor.
I called a neighbor to see if he could come help me with finding the valve, but he was sick in bed.   I then called my Dad.

Then it hit me! 
The AC unit!! 
I opened the closet door and indeed the water had been leaking from the indoor unit!  
My Dad came on the scene and confirmed that either the pump wasn't working or there was a clog.

Instant relief.   I was so glad to know the source of the water. 

I immediately contacted my favorite..... Maddox Air and Electrical, Inc.   I just wanted extra confirmation that the problem seemed fixable, and that it could be promptly attended to.
(I've got help coming in the morning!!  Thank you Andy!!)

(for the record, my Dad was willing to work on it... but I insisted that he go back home and go to bed.)

In the meantime water is collecting on beach towels and blankets and I will need to do a clean up tomorrow.    The saddest part of all is that the new carpet is wet.    I've had enough of flooding and moldy carpet.   I just pray that the clean up is easy and that my basement can avoid this type of thing in the future.

Owning a home is full of surprises.  I am super thankful for all of the men that I can call at the drop of a dime.
Usually my Dad :)   
I am so clueless about most things and I am thankful to have the appropriate resources at hand for household emergencies.

Ideally, I'd love to have a man, living here, for these type of situations.  Must also love kids.
Currently taking applications.

learning to listen

I have a big mouth.  Those of you who know me, know that I speak my mind and often don't have a filter for my thoughts.  Over the past few years, I have talked a lot.   Several of my friends can attest to the fact that I have needed to unload my thoughts on them... because I needed an adult to hear me.  
But more recently I've noticed that I HAVE learned to hold my tongue.  Not really in extreme circumstances... but occasionally... just because. 
It's a quality that I would love to grow. 

I'm not sure if I have a sign that says "safe" on my forehead, but for the past couple of weeks while I've been out and about... people are talking to me.   On three separate occasions while I was 'waiting' I've heard alot from strangers. 

A few weeks ago at the skate park, a grandmotherly lady shared her entire family history with me.  She told me how her grand kids spend the summers with her. They take turns coming to town.  The boys like to skateboard and ski, and be active.  She also went on to elaborate how her grandson had brought a friend along for the visit.  The friend's father had died several months ago.  She told me all about his family and explained how the visit was probably a good way to get his mind off of things.
ALL of this info....
I just nodded my head and smiled.  I easily could have explained how my kids' father is also dead and how much they enjoy staying occupied as well.   But I didn't feel the need to share.

On another visit, a younger gal at the skate park, with her six year old son, went in to elaborate detail about her living arrangements, her single parenthood, and her health history.   She is traveling to Virginia Beach to visit with a homeopathic doctor who is helping her treat Limes Disease.   Being a single parent, it's been hard for her to keep up with her son while she has been ill.  Thankfully she is feeling much better these days.   
ALL of this info....
I nodded and smiled.    I didn't feel the need to tell her that I was also a single parent, or that my sis-in-law is a homeopathic doc.

The third encounter was much different.   We had just followed a dude on a motorcycle all of the way to our doctors office.     Upon registering at the desk, the dude immediately asked, "Were you behind me when I stalled out at the stoplight?  Thanks for not running me over."  And I replied, "yes, that was me.... I always look out for bikes because my husband was killed in a motorcycle accident" 
(and I'm thinking to myself.... "oh crap, Jill.   Don't open this can of worms!!)
The dude was hooked.  He needed to know all about Thayer, his bike, the accident, etc.   Even the receptionist joined in with a comment about how her ex-fiance was injured in a motorcycle accident.  We all agreed, many times, that bikes are dangerous..... but people who ride, love to ride.  Overall a nice chat with a stranger... but totally not a conversation that I generally initiate these days.    I've learned, over time, that when I initiate the topic of Thayer's death everyone stops in their tracks and their eyes get sad and droopy.    I was actually thankful that this dude wasn't afraid to ask the tough questions.  Not everyone is brave enough to seek the details, but I think he felt a kinship as a fellow rider.

All of this to say... I notice that I am learning to listen to others as they share their stories...
but ya never know when I'm gonna blurt out crazy.

sinking

There are so many times when I read facebook comments from well meaning people and I get riled up.  Today I noticed that one of my friends requested prayers for her family.    I don't know the situation and that's okay.  She just needed prayer. 
But...as I read through the comments from her other friends.... I stopped short when I read a comment that said, "God will NOT put more on us than we can bear!!"   
I know that this statement is often blurted out by well meaning people who want to be encouraging.   I resisted the urge to stir the pot on facebook, and decided to stir it here.  :-)

I can tell you here and now that the above statement is false!!   I know that God WILL give us more than we can bear.    
Nowhere in the Bible does it say, "Oh, hang in there, because God won't let things get too bad".
There will be terrible trials in life.  In those darkest moments, when you have broken beyond repair, is when one learns to rely totally on God.   
A simple Internet search brought me directly to THIS BLOG, (which I've seen before via another friend... so it must be accurate) ;)  (be sure to read it!)

  2 Corinthians 1:8,9
"We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life.
Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead."

Please note that Paul, straight out of the Bible, says that he was under pressure, far beyond his ability. 

And there you have it.  God will allow things that are totally more than we can handle..... but the good part is ....that Paul goes on to say  these things happened "that we might not rely on ourselves but on God"

It is in the brokenness that God works miracles and mends hearts.    Sure, it's crappy that we have to learn our lessons and grow out of our brokenness and despair.   But somehow God is going to use it for good.  
In my case, with Thayer's death, I continue to question the good that can possibly come out of having fatherless children.   And many days, I grieve for my boys and myself.  Other days, I am overwhelmed by the blessings that surround us.  Every day is a journey that is molding us in to the people that God created us to be.  Our life story is a big one.

When the trials hit, it's not that someone is strong enough to handle it.... I think the moral of this story is.... when trials hit, remember to reach out for God.
God is the only one strong enough to pull you out of the quicksand.

Mission Un-Trip

As you know, I am a widow.     With my grief and loss aside, I consider myself blessed beyond belief.  My boys and I are provided for and cared for.   We are blessed with water, food, shelter, clothing, education, family and friends.      Considering all of the world’s widows, I am a minority.

Many of you know that I traveled to Uganda in February of 2011 to visit with Ugandan widows and hear their stories.   I heard the struggles that the Ugandan women face to feed their families, raise their children and simply survive.   I know that their cries are echoed throughout the world.    My time in Uganda changed my perspective on many things.   I came away wanting to make a small difference, in some way, for these Ugandan widows.  I have sat by for the past sixteen months, in the comfort of my home, not sure of what an unskilled single mom could do to make a difference.  

When I returned from the trip to Uganda in 2011 I was ready to go back.   I wanted to go back to the beautiful country and spend time with the beautiful people.   I was anxious to get back on African soil.  But over the past few months, God has changed my heart, and mind, about what I should be doing.    I do not believe that God wants me to invest money in a plane ticket.   I do not believe that He wants me to plan the vacation of a lifetime for my kids… quite yet.   

I do believe that God has given me a pretty nifty idea.   I would love to ask you to join me in this venture. I would like to ask you to please join me on a Mission UN-trip!

Instead of sending out a support letter that raises money for plane tickets, room and board….. Consider this a support letter for each of us to DIRECTLY SUPPORT WIDOWS in UGANDA!!

My goal is to raise $2000 that will be given directly to the Widows United ministry of Mission Link International.     (www.missionlink.org)

Mission Link is currently in need of hiring a director of the widow’s ministry (ideally a Ugandan widow will fill this role!)   $2000 will come close to covering a director’s salary for one year!     

Mission Link is also currently working with many widows on a piggery project.   Soon there will be about 100 piglets.  At least 2/3 will be sold for meat so they can have funds to duplicate the project again.  Funds will be needed to help erect shelters for the pigs.    The goal is that this project will become a sustainable source of income for these widows.

Please join me on my Mission UN-trip by supporting these women!  I may not be traveling to see them…. But I am thrilled to raise money that will be put to use on the ground.    We can join together and make a difference for a few.  And in turn make a difference for a whole community.

If you catch my vision…. And want to NOT travel with me…. please make checks payable to “Mission Link International” with ‘Widows United’ in the memo line.   All gifts are tax deductible. 

Checks can be mailed to:  Mission Link International, P.O. Box 38, 1677 Avon Street Ext, Charlottesville, VA 22902.   (For my record keeping purposes, please include a little note that says, “For Jill’s Un-trip”.)

Thank you so much for your continued love and support.  The boys and I are thankful for each of you! 

pool party gone wrong

Friday night, June 29th:
We were attending Daniel’s first junior high- church-pool party at a local pool.  Things were going well.    Dinner included pizza galore, salads, sides and desserts.   Kids were playing in the pool.  There was a grand game of polo going on.  
Temperatures were record high for our city.   It was a great night for a swim. I was one of the few adults who were dumb enough to leave their swimsuits at home.  It was hot, hot, hot.   As the sun was starting to set, things cooled off just a bit and I was enjoying some conversation with my sister and a few others by the pool side.   
9:30-ish-pm: My friend’s phone rang.  It was her husband who warned her of approaching hurricane type winds.   
As soon as she was able to form the words, “Get out of the pool!!”….. the lifeguards had apparently gotten the same message and there was shouting and scurrying that was IMMEDIATELY joined by ‘hurricane  type winds’ that descended on us without any other warning. 
It was instant. 
 It was SCARY!  
As people were exiting the pool the wall of wind crashed onto us and there was utter chaos.    The potluck dinner blasted off of the pavilion area …. Plates, utensils and chairs filled the air. 
I was scanning the crowd of people looking for my boys. 
Daniel appeared by my side and I grabbed hold of his arm and screamed, “Where is Lucas?!”     
I didn’t see Lucas anywhere.  (I had last seen him on the opposite side of the pool!)  
In a split second decision, I scuffled through the moving chairs to grab my pool bag that contained my car keys and cell phone.    In the process, I lost hold of Daniel and I turned to look for both boys.   
I kept yelling, “Where are my boys!?   Daniel was just here!!   I haven’t seen Lucas at all!” 
A lifeguard was screaming for people to go into the bathrooms, which were located in little concrete buildings on the other side of the pool. 
We were being pelted in the face by flying dirt and dust.    
I was panicked about not knowing where my babies were.   I’m pretty sure that I kept yelling, “Where are my babies?!  I need to be with my babies!”  

  (so much for remaining calm in a crisis situation...) :/

I was with my sister and somehow the lifeguard was leading us across the concrete.  We were moving through the tossed chairs when the POWER WENT OUT!   We screamed at the instant darkness… but the lifeguard assured us that she could see (I think she was using a light on a cell phone) and she continued to pull us toward the safety of the concrete bathrooms.   All the while, I was freaked out about not knowing where my kids were.   My sister and I were some of the last few party go-ers who were corralled into the bathrooms and the lifeguard assured us that everyone was safely inside.   There were two bathrooms and one storage room.   
My boys were NOT with me.    
The lifeguards passed back info that my boys were accounted for.  Logically I knew that they were most likely safe… but the situation of chaos made me doubtful.   After several minutes, one of the men said that if we wanted to leave, we would need to leave before the heavy rains started.    
Daniel met me at the doorway of the bathroom and I was still frantic about finding Lucas.   I stood by the other door and yelled for Lucas.  The group of people eventually parted and Lucas appeared.  As soon as he saw me, he broke down.  He was hysterical and very scared.   We darted through the dark and found our car as the rain started to pour down.    I kept assuring the boys that we would be home soon.  Lucas was crying and Daniel was filling the role of the ‘calm’ one.    Lucas admitted that he was very scared about being separated from us, and he was afraid that he had lost me.  
Yeah, I could relate. I have never been so scared for my children. 
Losing them in the storm and chaos totally unhinged me.    It was such a feeling of helplessness.        
I couldn’t get home fast enough.  I wanted to hug my babies and assure them that things were okay.   The rain and wind were crazy.   I zigzagged around several fallen branches on my street and under the sagging power line that crossed the street in front of my neighbor’s house.     We found our way inside and gathered flashlights and candles.      We were safe and we were together.    I was so thankful.

I am still so thankful for our safety that night.  I know that the situation could have been much worse.  My other sister reminded me of the parents who have been separated from their children in tsunamis and other natural disasters.   Terrifying!
 I am saddened to hear of the lives that were cut short as a result of Friday's storm. 

Indeed, it could have been much worse.

The power was restored to our house, today (tuesday), after being in the dark for the past 3.5 days.    During the power outage we were blessed with cool places to stay in the day (special thanks to my sister and bro-in-law), and we've slept in our basement at night.    I'm thankful for my car and for running water.   
Most importantly, I am thankful for safety.
amen.