Last week, I had the opportunity to speak at a
Mission Link fundraiser Tea. For those of you who are interested..... this is what I said:
Hi. My name is Jill Botham. I first met
Rick Sadler when he was pastoring the church that I was attending in Lynchburg, back in the 90s. My husband, Thayer, and I were married in 1999 and Rick officiated at our wedding ceremony. I knew, back in the day, that Rick had great plans for the future of his ministry… and I think that Mission Link was born right around that time. Shortly after our wedding,
Rick and Candy moved to Charlottesville… and Thayer and I focused on starting our little family. We have two children, Daniel and Lucas (they are 11 and 9 years old now). Over the years, Thayer had several job changes and we even lived in the Charlottesville area for 3 years. All the while, we would receive the Mission Link newsletter and I would read it, but ultimately just go about my business. I was happy for Rick and Candy, and their work in Uganda but I didn’t fully grasp the magnitude of their work.
In 2007, we moved back to Lynchburg, where I was born and raised. It was nice to be back with my family and to have unlimited free babysitting! Thayer quickly settled into his new job, both boys were in elementary school, I started working part time at a preschool and things were going really well.
On August 16, 2008 Thayer went out for a ride on his motorcycle and I baked a cake so that we could celebrate his birthday with my family the next day. Thayer would be celebrating his 38th birthday that week. While I was finishing up the icing on the cake, the doorbell rang. My son, Daniel, said “mom, there are police officers at the door”. I turned the corner and saw those state trooper hats and I knew instantly that Thayer was dead. I can remember sitting on my porch as the troopers gave me the news and I kept saying, “what am I gonna do? What am I going to do? I have two little boys.” My little family had fallen apart in an instant.
We were immediately surrounded by family and friends who held us up and cared for us. They are still caring for us. It has been amazing to see God shower his love on us through others. We have a tremendous support system.
Right after Thayer died, one of my friends, and sister, covered my house with encouraging Bible verses written on little yellow post-it notes. My favorite verse was posted right on the wall next to the toilet. I can remember retreating to the bathroom when our house was full of people and staring at Jeremiah 29:11, that says, “for I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”. That verse quickly became MY verse. I claimed it as my own. I realized that even on the days when I have NO hope… God promises to GIVE me hope. I still cling to his promise to give me hope AND a future. And to give my boys a future.
About two years after Thayer’s death, I received a Mission Link newsletter that said something about a ‘widow’s ministry’. I’m not even sure what it was ‘advertising’ but I instantly got excited. I thought, ‘hey! I can relate to that! That is something I should be a part of!’ I emailed Rick to say that I would be interested in doing ‘something’ in the future. I didn’t have any idea what I would be able to do. I had no qualifications, other than being a widow. He basically got back in touch with me and said, “hey… why don’t you come to Uganda in February? “ Ha. That seemed like a crazy request…. But so crazy that I felt the need to do it. It was exciting to think about…. And it was WAY out of my comfort zone. I remember sitting on my couch and thinking, “I’m going to do this. This is so cool!”. God gave me a complete peace about just saying ‘yes’ to a huge trip. I hadn’t thought about childcare or any of the logistics… but I was going to go. Everything worked out for me to book my ticket and plan for the trip. My family and friends agreed to keep my kids while I was out of the country and everything fell into place. I even managed to find enough skirts to pack for the trip. I do NOT wear skirts…. So that, in itself, was a cultural challenge for me.
February rolled around and I boarded a plane with a group of strangers, to fly overseas, for the first time. In fact, this was my first mission trip…. And I was going to AFRICA! I guess if I’m gonna do it, I should do it big.
The trip was nothing short of life changing. Africa was beautiful. Uganda was beautiful, the people were beautiful,their language was beautiful. Everything was beautiful. I am so thankful that I had the opportunity to go.
I was actually inspired by the simplicity of life. There was no overwhelming technology and busy-ness like the stuff that drains our time here in America. The people in the villages had nothing by America’s standards… but I think they had a better grip on what is important in life. I was very encouraged by seeing how much of the world lives.
We had an opportunity to meet with a few groups of widows. First, I was impressed… it appeared that, these ladies gathered together on a regular basis. I, personally, thrive on community. After my husband died I started gathering with a group of young widows, like myself, so I could surround myself with other people who ‘get it’. So naturally I was excited to see these Ugandans who had gathered to share their experiences.
I had been instructed by Rick, and others, that I would be sharing some of my story with these ladies. I am totally not a public speaker so I fumbled through what I thought I should say and then the Ugandan widows were encouraged to stand and share their own story. Several had lost their husbands to AIDS and other illnesses. And others had lost their husbands in accidents. One young widow, caught my attention as she explained the details of her husband’s death because it was very similar to my own story.
I was pleasantly surprised to hear so many of these widows give thanks and praise to God. Through their hurt, they still acknowledged God’s provisions.
I had so much in common with these ladies. I realize that death is a tragedy, no matter where you live. That the pain and loss associated with death is no different if you live in a mansion in Charlottesville Virginia or in a hut in an African village.
But yet, Here I am, in America, where I am receiving social security and life insurance benefits. And my children attend public school for free. That’s my kind of providing. God has clearly provided for me. I haven’t lacked in physical or financial need since Thayer’s death. How is it that these African women can claim that God is providing for them? They have no help from the government and many of their own families have disowned them. It is heartbreaking to hear their stories of survival. And perhaps that is how God is providing… he is simply keeping them alive. And to hear these women praise God…it’s simply amazing. And it’s a wake-up call for myself. To praise God no matter what my circumstance.
The Ugandan widows are struggling to survive. Most of these ladies work in the field for their main source of income. They are struggling to make ends meet and they need to pay school tuition for their kids.
I am so thankful that Mission Link has a heart for the widows of Uganda. I am encouraged to hear of the skills that are going to be taught and the resources that can be shared with these women. I know that I have only participated in a tiny aspect of this ministry, but it has been life changing. I am excited to see how this ministry grows.
