There is death everywhere these days. If it's not people getting executed or people having their face chewed off... then it's the dozens of people who have lost their lives in vehicle accidents...in just a matter of months.
Every day there are more news articles about fatal accidents in our area.
Today I read articles online of a motorcyclist who died a couple of miles from my home. And I also read about the death of a tanker truck driver...and realized that he used to be in youth group with me. He leaves behind a wife and two children.
It's sounding too familiar.
I'm heartbroken for all of the families who have had to bury loved ones over the past few months.
I did a little facebook stalking and found the homepage of the new widow. (geez. what a horrible thing to be known as... 'the new widow'). I was able to read the condolences of her friends.
(yes... I know that you're thinking about how creepy I am....reading about strangers on facebook.... but you've got to admit that you do it too!!)
anywho.
If I had a dollar for everyone that typed, "if there is anything we can do, please let us know." Or, "if you need anything please call."
Alright people. I know that you mean well.... but don't say this to people who have just suffered tragedy. This means NOTHING to people who are trying to scrape themselves off of the floor upon learning that their world is completely shattered.
Honestly... I don't remember any of the people who said "if there is anything I can do..." after Thayer died.
But I DO remember the people that just did it. Well... maybe I don't really remember everyone. But I know that people stepped in and did things. Some faces I remember... like the faces of my family and friends who hung out at the house and kept things in order. I know that there was also a ton of stuff done around here that I am still unaware. I'm just really thankful for the people who DID.
Show up weeks later when everyone has gone back to their lives. cut the grass. clean the house. send giftcards. do laundry. take the kids out for the day. Bring dinner... and stay to share the meal. Call to check in. Send snail mail.
Don't just offer to help. Be creative and DO it.
People who are grieving don't know how they will get out of bed each day... much less know what they 'need'.
Of course, even having gone through the unimaginable... I'm still at a loss at how to help those who grieve. I think the most important thing that you can do is to be present with a listening ear.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Monday, May 28, 2012
Bring on the summer!
This past weekend has been a taste of what summer could be like around our house. The house remained 'clean' after I hosted a ladies night... so I didn't need to spend the weekend cleaning! The boys were 'around' and things were really laid back. At one point, I looked around the house... realized that I didn't have anything to do.... and went outside to read!! That is unheard of!
I have told the kids that if we simply put away something after we use it, the house would remain fairly 'picked-up' and I won't have to spend alot of time piddling around this summer. A nice idea, in theory.
I am officially done with work for the summer. I realize that I am out of work for THREE months. A huge blessings, I know.
I am psyched!
We don't have any vacation plans this year but I am hoping to be involved with the kids alot here at home. I have high hopes to take them camping, ride bikes, take them to the skatepark and to the city pool. We have also decided to have game night as often as possible.
We started a game of Dino-Opoly last night. I expected it to be drawn out over a period of several weeks.... but we finished it tonight when I went bankrupt and Daniel had a pile of cash the size of my head. Tomorrow night, we start the Game of Life. That should be interesting.
I am looking forward to our family time this summer. Bring it on!
I have told the kids that if we simply put away something after we use it, the house would remain fairly 'picked-up' and I won't have to spend alot of time piddling around this summer. A nice idea, in theory.
I am officially done with work for the summer. I realize that I am out of work for THREE months. A huge blessings, I know.
I am psyched!
We don't have any vacation plans this year but I am hoping to be involved with the kids alot here at home. I have high hopes to take them camping, ride bikes, take them to the skatepark and to the city pool. We have also decided to have game night as often as possible.
We started a game of Dino-Opoly last night. I expected it to be drawn out over a period of several weeks.... but we finished it tonight when I went bankrupt and Daniel had a pile of cash the size of my head. Tomorrow night, we start the Game of Life. That should be interesting.
I am looking forward to our family time this summer. Bring it on!
Monday, May 21, 2012
camping
We went camping this past weekend. It was the first 'single mom' attempt at such an event. I have been camping before, several times, but always with a larger group... or with Thayer. I've never had to be in charge of myself and my kids, on my own.
(And...I never had to do any of the work. I was famous for planting my chair... and sitting in it.)
Thankfully my friend, Lyn, is the mama of all camping and she managed to pack her knowledge and expertise. She still did most of the fire/cooking work, as she was up with the sun- cookin' up a nice breakfast. And I'm thankful that she knew the basic survival skills of being in a public campground.
(I took lots of mental notes for future trips!)
After my initial temper tantrum while setting up the tent, I tend to think that I really enjoyed myself. The most important thing is that the boys had a BLAST!! The entire way home, Lucas kept saying, "this is something we should do more often" and "when can we go again?"
Seeing as we don't have an official vacation this year, I'm hoping we can spend some time camping.
I seem very excited about it now.... but ask me again when it gets really hot and muggy. Not sure how well I'll handle those really hot days in the wilderness... but I'm willing to sacrifice some of my vanity for creating memories with my boys.
(And...I never had to do any of the work. I was famous for planting my chair... and sitting in it.)
Thankfully my friend, Lyn, is the mama of all camping and she managed to pack her knowledge and expertise. She still did most of the fire/cooking work, as she was up with the sun- cookin' up a nice breakfast. And I'm thankful that she knew the basic survival skills of being in a public campground.
(I took lots of mental notes for future trips!)
After my initial temper tantrum while setting up the tent, I tend to think that I really enjoyed myself. The most important thing is that the boys had a BLAST!! The entire way home, Lucas kept saying, "this is something we should do more often" and "when can we go again?"
Seeing as we don't have an official vacation this year, I'm hoping we can spend some time camping.
I seem very excited about it now.... but ask me again when it gets really hot and muggy. Not sure how well I'll handle those really hot days in the wilderness... but I'm willing to sacrifice some of my vanity for creating memories with my boys.
Monday, May 14, 2012
thanksgiving and prayer
I'm currently reading one thousand gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are,by Ann Voskamp. I was told that it was a wonderful book. And so far, I've enjoyed it. I'm on page 117 and I'm waiting for the 'aha' moment. So far, I can see that she is really thankful, has found the joy in being thankful in all circumstances.... and she uses a ton of super descriptive words to describe her surroundings and her thankfulness. She is really good at putting pen to paper and bringing life to the mundane. Page after page, repetition of those thoughts. I'm kinda waiting for what she's gettin' at. Perhaps I'm missing something profound?
So far... this book hasn't shed any amazing light on any particular thing I am lacking in my life. (other than the fact that I could really work on my descriptive writing)
When I stop to think about my daily thanksgiving.... I've decided that I'm doing a good job of being thankful. Of course, I'm sure that I overlook a zillion things each day, but overall... I tend to be a 'glass half full' kind of person. I feel that I am in constant chit chat with God and I often look for things to be thankful for, even in crappy situations.
This book, as well as a sermon series at church (well... the one sermon I heard), has made me question my prayer life as well. I'm totally not the best at 'sit down, bow your head' kind of prayer. And I'm totally not good at 'public' prayers.... because I don't say 'father God" after every two words. (but that's another soapbox of mine)
I feel that I chat with God throughout the day. He knows my thoughts, after all.
After Lucas broke his arm, I wondered if I had prayed through that situation correctly. I prayed over Lucas on the way to the hospital... but honestly... once we got there.... I forgot all about praying. We were just going through the motions of hospital stuff.
Upon returning home...I thought to myself that a "good Christian" would have prayed through it all. Prayed over the hospital bed, prayed over the doctors, etc.
Eh. I didn't. Yet somehow, Lucas still received good care.
I feel that my single prayer covered what needed to be said. right? God knew the desires of my heart.
But then I think about my friend who prayed and prayed over her husband... and he died. God answered her prayer... but not the way she had desired.
so... prayer, in general??
God's got the plan. He has our days numbered. nothing is a surprise to him,etc, etc.
So why are so many of our prayers worded in ways that we think God will change His mind or change an outcome? Isn't He just gonna do what was planned all along?
We often pray for "God's will be done". But do we realize how powerful that statement is?
For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
"As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts."
Isaiah 55:8-9
In other words.... buckle up, hold on.
And Be thankful...for this is God's will....
give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:18
So far... this book hasn't shed any amazing light on any particular thing I am lacking in my life. (other than the fact that I could really work on my descriptive writing)
When I stop to think about my daily thanksgiving.... I've decided that I'm doing a good job of being thankful. Of course, I'm sure that I overlook a zillion things each day, but overall... I tend to be a 'glass half full' kind of person. I feel that I am in constant chit chat with God and I often look for things to be thankful for, even in crappy situations.
This book, as well as a sermon series at church (well... the one sermon I heard), has made me question my prayer life as well. I'm totally not the best at 'sit down, bow your head' kind of prayer. And I'm totally not good at 'public' prayers.... because I don't say 'father God" after every two words. (but that's another soapbox of mine)
I feel that I chat with God throughout the day. He knows my thoughts, after all.
After Lucas broke his arm, I wondered if I had prayed through that situation correctly. I prayed over Lucas on the way to the hospital... but honestly... once we got there.... I forgot all about praying. We were just going through the motions of hospital stuff.
Upon returning home...I thought to myself that a "good Christian" would have prayed through it all. Prayed over the hospital bed, prayed over the doctors, etc.
Eh. I didn't. Yet somehow, Lucas still received good care.
I feel that my single prayer covered what needed to be said. right? God knew the desires of my heart.
But then I think about my friend who prayed and prayed over her husband... and he died. God answered her prayer... but not the way she had desired.
so... prayer, in general??
God's got the plan. He has our days numbered. nothing is a surprise to him,etc, etc.
So why are so many of our prayers worded in ways that we think God will change His mind or change an outcome? Isn't He just gonna do what was planned all along?
We often pray for "God's will be done". But do we realize how powerful that statement is?
For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
"As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts."
Isaiah 55:8-9
In other words.... buckle up, hold on.
And Be thankful...for this is God's will....
give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:18
Monday, May 07, 2012
Andrew Peterson
Many of you know how much I appreciate the lyrical genius of Andrew Peterson. I respect him as an artist and I super respect him as an individual. Many of you know that he came and sang at Thayer's memorial service... and that gesture alone put Andrew on my favorite person list.
For the past few months, or maybe longer, I have been on a hiatus from AP's music. I've shuffled from the "christian" radio, to the "80s, 90s and today" radio, and briefly to the "Top 40" radio... until I realized that the Top 40 stuff just made me feel dumber and emptier. These popular songs are real catchy but the lyrics are lame. Most of those songs have the same few lines that they repeat over and over.
The music itself is what sells the song... I get that. And there are plenty of catchy tunes that I like. Don't get me wrong... i'm not trashing various types of music... i'm just trashing lame lyrics.
I've realized- through my musical wanderings- that I am totally a lyric person. I don't need flashy, crazy music to 'get down' in my car. I just want to know what I'm singing about.
This brings me back to my fascination with Andrew Peterson's music. The thing is... you either really like his music... or you really don't.
(AP's music puts my sister to sleep... and my kids often request Andrew Peterson CDs, on car trips when they want to take a nap. )
I think AP is classified as a 'folk' artist..... so that automatically puts him in a box of 'mellow'. I wouldn't necessarily call him 'folk'... but I guess he fits there.
Either way... I love Andrew Peterson's music. Everything about it. But most importantly the lyrics.
I have tried to picture God calling down...through whisper, or scream, or whatever means... and putting the lyrics into Andrew's heart and pen. So many of his lyrics are God breathed... in fact, I believe that all music is God breathed... but I think that Andrew must have a more direct line than others. :)
Andrew has recorded a zillion albums, all of which I could listen to over and over, and never be bored. All of his songs, in some way or another mirror the cries of my heart. I can sing these songs and be able to express myself to God, through the lyrics. So often APs songs have given me the words that I am unable to muster on my own. Andrew Peterson, unknowingly, has been with me through raising young children, through marital problems, through working, through traveling, through Thayer's death, and currently as I try to keep this little family afloat. God uses AP's songs to speak to me directly... and allow me to commune with Him on a deeper level.
I am so thankful for music, for lyrics, and for the Creator who uses regular old people to impact other people in BIG ways.
If you haven't experienced Andrew Peterson yet.... He is currently working on a new record. (so excited!)
And did I mention that he is an author as well?! Please check him out at:
www.Andrew-Peterson.com or on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/#!/andrewpetersonmusic
For the past few months, or maybe longer, I have been on a hiatus from AP's music. I've shuffled from the "christian" radio, to the "80s, 90s and today" radio, and briefly to the "Top 40" radio... until I realized that the Top 40 stuff just made me feel dumber and emptier. These popular songs are real catchy but the lyrics are lame. Most of those songs have the same few lines that they repeat over and over.
I've realized- through my musical wanderings- that I am totally a lyric person. I don't need flashy, crazy music to 'get down' in my car. I just want to know what I'm singing about.
This brings me back to my fascination with Andrew Peterson's music. The thing is... you either really like his music... or you really don't.
(AP's music puts my sister to sleep... and my kids often request Andrew Peterson CDs, on car trips when they want to take a nap. )
I think AP is classified as a 'folk' artist..... so that automatically puts him in a box of 'mellow'. I wouldn't necessarily call him 'folk'... but I guess he fits there.
Either way... I love Andrew Peterson's music. Everything about it. But most importantly the lyrics.
I have tried to picture God calling down...through whisper, or scream, or whatever means... and putting the lyrics into Andrew's heart and pen. So many of his lyrics are God breathed... in fact, I believe that all music is God breathed... but I think that Andrew must have a more direct line than others. :)
Andrew has recorded a zillion albums, all of which I could listen to over and over, and never be bored. All of his songs, in some way or another mirror the cries of my heart. I can sing these songs and be able to express myself to God, through the lyrics. So often APs songs have given me the words that I am unable to muster on my own. Andrew Peterson, unknowingly, has been with me through raising young children, through marital problems, through working, through traveling, through Thayer's death, and currently as I try to keep this little family afloat. God uses AP's songs to speak to me directly... and allow me to commune with Him on a deeper level.
I am so thankful for music, for lyrics, and for the Creator who uses regular old people to impact other people in BIG ways.
If you haven't experienced Andrew Peterson yet.... He is currently working on a new record. (so excited!)
And did I mention that he is an author as well?! Please check him out at:
www.Andrew-Peterson.com or on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/#!/andrewpetersonmusic
Thursday, May 03, 2012
hard knock life
Lucas has been a mess since breaking his arm. He was calm and content while he was on the pain medication. He seems content when he is engrossed in computer games or Netflix... but when he is left alone with his cast, I can tell that he is STIR CRAZY!
(He had xrays yesterday and they put on a full-arm bright green cast. Xrays again in a week to see if the bones are staying as planned.)
He was a sad dude a few days ago when he had convinced himself that he shouldn't go to his best friend's birthday party. He didn't want to 'ruin the party' for his buddy. Lucas is very conscious of all of the things that he can't do with the cast. (And he is pretty accurate in his conclusions. He pretty much can't do anything he would normally enjoy doing.)
After getting his cast, yesterday, I convinced him that it would be fine for him to have a sleepover with his friend (he was the only boy invited to spend the night) and attend the birthday party on the following day. He was SO excited. He planned a great 'gag' gift that he is really excited about giving and he talked about how amazing the sleepover was going to be.
He blew it.
My parents are keeping him so that Daniel and I can go on a field trip tomorrow. And he lost it. He threw a tantrum about taking a bath, yelled and screamed at my parents and refused to cooperate. My parents mentioned that he would be unable to attend the sleepover if his terrible behavior continued.
I was called. I arrived on scene... and it continued.
so... I had to be the responsible Mom and follow through with the consequences.
My heart is broken for Lucas' best friend... who was counting on having a sleepover with just the two of them. My heart is broken for Lucas because I know that this punishment stings. I really hope that this will be a great learning moment for him. He will not treat his grandparents that way again.
To top off my evening... my Dad mentioned that he asked Lucas, "what would your Dad say about your behavior?".
Well, you know what? If his Dad were here..... he wouldn't have said anything about the situation.... because it wouldn't have been happening!
If his Dad were here... his Grandparents wouldn't have needed to kid-sit tonight.
If his Dad were here... alot of things would be different.
But since his Dad is not here.... I simply pray that tomorrow will be better.
Damn that cast.
(He had xrays yesterday and they put on a full-arm bright green cast. Xrays again in a week to see if the bones are staying as planned.)
He was a sad dude a few days ago when he had convinced himself that he shouldn't go to his best friend's birthday party. He didn't want to 'ruin the party' for his buddy. Lucas is very conscious of all of the things that he can't do with the cast. (And he is pretty accurate in his conclusions. He pretty much can't do anything he would normally enjoy doing.)
After getting his cast, yesterday, I convinced him that it would be fine for him to have a sleepover with his friend (he was the only boy invited to spend the night) and attend the birthday party on the following day. He was SO excited. He planned a great 'gag' gift that he is really excited about giving and he talked about how amazing the sleepover was going to be.
He blew it.
My parents are keeping him so that Daniel and I can go on a field trip tomorrow. And he lost it. He threw a tantrum about taking a bath, yelled and screamed at my parents and refused to cooperate. My parents mentioned that he would be unable to attend the sleepover if his terrible behavior continued.
I was called. I arrived on scene... and it continued.
so... I had to be the responsible Mom and follow through with the consequences.
My heart is broken for Lucas' best friend... who was counting on having a sleepover with just the two of them. My heart is broken for Lucas because I know that this punishment stings. I really hope that this will be a great learning moment for him. He will not treat his grandparents that way again.
To top off my evening... my Dad mentioned that he asked Lucas, "what would your Dad say about your behavior?".
Well, you know what? If his Dad were here..... he wouldn't have said anything about the situation.... because it wouldn't have been happening!
If his Dad were here... his Grandparents wouldn't have needed to kid-sit tonight.
If his Dad were here... alot of things would be different.
But since his Dad is not here.... I simply pray that tomorrow will be better.
Damn that cast.
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