nerd alert

I have often been frowned upon because I do not pay all of my bills online.  
I have automatic deductions happening with some of my bills.... but otherwise, I'm a good ol' check writer.    I like to physically feel the money depleting from my account.

I think it all boils down to the fact that I love stamps.
Postage Stamps.

I am one of the few remaining people who make the pilgrimage to the local post office to purchase stamps.   I hear that they sell stamps at the grocery stores... but nothing compares to sauntering into the post office and picking out a design of my choosing. 

I made a big purchase last month-ish when I bought three books of stamps.      Disney, Indianapolis 500, and Civil War. 
I quickly realized the nerd factor came into play when I found myself calculating which theme should be attached to which outgoing piece of mail.

copyright 2010 USPS

For instance:
Clearly....
-The Cars Stamp was to be attached to the Comcast bill..... because Comcast supplies me with HIGH SPEED internet.
-The Ratatouille stamp made sense on my phone bill.... because I use the phone to communicate... and that rat communicated with that chef, right?
-The Toy Story stamp was stuck to the Target bill... because clearly, Target sells toys... and probably sells that movie too....
-The Up stamp was the most obvious for my Life Insurance premium payment.... because that guy's wife died.   (And do we really need to go into details about how depressing that movie is?!)
-The Wall-E stamp ended up on the water bill... because I am super thankful for running water... and that little plant couldn't have survived without it....

copyright USPS

copyright 2010 USPS

The Indianapolis 500 stamp has been used for boring pieces of mail, maybe a few birthday cards, or things that I figure men will open.
And I'm not sure about the Civil War stamps... because they are quite depressing.   Perhaps they'll be useful for sympathy cards..... or some other dreadful piece of mail.  Then again.... they would be nice to use for my brother-in-law's birthday card!  Because he likes that kind of stuff.

(Wow.  Who'd have thought that I sit around and ponder these things?  I didn't even realize it until today!  Ah... to discover one's passion...)

And, No, I don't collect stamps... because I don't like clutter. 
I like things that can be used. 
So next time...well... if I ever send you something in the mail.... be sure to check out the stamp.... and know that it was hand picked just for you :)

time to plan a vacation

I'm out of focus.  I have sat to write a blog several times but my mind wanders as to what I actually want to type about.  I've got lots of little tidbits that our journal worthy... but in the grand scheme of things... they don't really interest me, and in turn would bore a normal person.

I've had some not-so-great parenting moments this week.   The most memorable moment was when I was observed in my pajamas, asleep on my couch, while my son was bullying a neighbor kid.    Any sane person would find it hard to believe that I was actually keeping an eye on the boys and trying to catch up on reading... and I completely- unintentionally- fell asleep.   Am I honestly that kind of parent now?
This is the kind of thing that CPS is called in for, right?
cringe.

The first few days of this week, I was SO sleepy.  If I didn't know any better... I would suspect a pregnancy.     But since that's not the case, I blame myself for not being more active.  

Anywho.
The rest of the week has revolved around muddling thru the kid stuff and pulling myself out of a series of emotional ups and downs.
I've been missing Thayer this week.  

Surprisingly the highlight of my week has been seeing pictures posted by the folks who went with Mission  Link to Uganda this year.     My heart swells as I see familiar people and places, new faces and new places.   I feel a mixture of excitement, longing and anticipation when I see the pictures and read the stories. 
I want to be there.
I want my kids to be there.

Last night, I listened as several women talked about making long term plans to travel to Disney World.  But during the conversation, I just kept thinking about when I can get my kids to Africa.  That's my goal. 
(also a trip to Sea World, one of these years would be splendid)
 After hearing about the 'planning' aspect of a trip to Disney... i'm pretty sure that a trip to Uganda will be far easier to pull off.

joy today in: catching up

I know that I have boasted about my empty calendar squares as of late.   And I am finally figuring out how to best enjoy them!

Just this week, I started washing clothes every other day, instead of daily.  But then I realized that the kids either need more school pants... or I need to stick with the daily wash.    Washing is much more enjoyable than shopping... so I'll stick to it.

Last night I was in bed by 8:30.  Tucked in and ready to read Catching Fire!!    I have caught The Hunger Games fever and I was intent on reading a big chunk of book two last night.  
I was asleep by 8:45.
go figure.

so... I'm caught up on chores and sleep.  And I'm all caught up on making plans, paying bills, and various other time consumers.

This afternoon was the first afternoon in forever that I actually came home after work and sat on the couch!!  I watched Breaking Dawn, which was a Valentines gift to myself.
(I have a hunch that I'm going to like the Hunger Games a bit more.)

anywho.

I'm thrilled to announce that both of my boys have taken a quick interest in reading!!  We've been making weekly trips to the city library.
  Daniel was given a Young Bond book, at a school event,  a few months ago.   He finally got into it, and has checked out another in the series.  I'm glad that he has discovered the excitement of reading actual chapter books.  I had wondered if he would ever be a reader.
Lucas has also become quite the reader.  Yet he is satisfied with flying through simple books and is happily obsessed with the world of Geronimo Stilton.  I think these books are a few grade levels below him... but I'm just thrilled that he's reading!

Tonight... dinner of champions.   Nachos.
You would think that with all of this free time, I'd invest in cooking a real meal. 
nah.

I refuse to be the taxi... (at least for now)...

I was super thrilled to read this post today.   I'm always thrilled when someone shares a common thought as myself.  It's nice to see that there are other smart people out there ;)

Anywho.  Here is my addendum to her thoughts, for what it's worth.

She nailed it.   So much busyness.  And so much busyness pushed on our kids.    I am continually learning that 'less is best' in... pretty much everything. 

Perhaps I'm lacking commitment.  Perhaps I know my own weaknesses and boundaries as a single parent.  (I'm totally not aspiring to be Super Woman).
 Perhaps I'm getting lazier with age.  I dunno.

And perhaps my kids have the same problem with commitment?
They have dabbled in soccer, violin, karate, and baseball.  Nothing really stuck.  And they quickly nayed the idea of cub scouts.  
They briefly mentioned that they would play soccer this spring... but I nixed that idea by reminding them how much they hate to leave the house when they get home from school.    
They simply like to stay home and play! 

Both kids were super interested in skiing and snowboarding... for about a month.   I'm pretty sure those sports are simmering on the back burner this month... and they'll be back at it... off and on.

Amazingly, skateboarding has stood the test of time with both boys, and I am happy.  It is an activity that has managed to withstand every season of the year... and they keep doing it.      I would consider them both to be at a very beginner stage with skateboarding... but they really enjoy their time on wheels.
One mother at the skate park this weekend told me to "watch out... it's an expensive hobby".   I understood that she was referring to the shoes, the boards, the gear.   But I keep thinking of what a lovely hobby it is.    Skateboarding takes place on MY time, on my kid's time.  There is no set practice schedule, and we're not running around to games and scrimmages.  We're not eating dinner from concession stands and we're not getting home after 9pm.  I'm loving it.

(As soon as I publish this post, they'll be interested in something entirely new.... but that's okay.)

I am thankful for our free time and the empty squares on my calendar. 
I know that once they hit middle and high school, things will be different.  I will totally encourage them to participate in extracurricular activities.     They may not be as experienced as the kids who have played baseball from the womb... but I think my boys will do okay.

thankfully uneventful

This past month has been rather uneventful.   And this has been a welcome change to our crazy ups and downs. The boys continue to help around the house, greatly due to the new allowance plan that we started in January.  And this has made things less overwhelming to me.    We've enjoyed an entire month of clean bathrooms, clean sheets, and vacuumed carpets, among other small chores.   I still lack the motivation to mop as often as I should...
and sometimes I count the days until Lucas takes that "Blueberry" cat to his new home.  Lucas says he's leaving when he's 20... so according to Google... I've got 4,243 days to be covered in white cat hair.

Today, I was having flashbacks of when I was a young mother, home with the kids all day.    I was a nut about cleaning house.  I had a rockin' schedule for cleaning.    And I can recall how straight and tidy my kids' rooms were, basically because I cleaned up as soon as a toy dropped.   It's a distant memory... but I remember how I thought I had it all together.  
I also remember having to read a book called She's Gonna Blow! : Real Help for Moms Dealing with Anger. 
I think I was super anal about the house and what I expected of the people who lived there.

I barely remember those days because it all went to hell when Thayer died.  
I'd like to think that I'm not as anal as I was.  And I'd really like to think that I'm not as angry.
(Sure, I freak out sometimes and yell at the kids... but overall I think I keep my cool)
I have especially learned to keep my 'super calm face' on in the midst of chaos.   I think it's enough of a 'calm face' that other people may think I'm not reacting... or that I'm a heartless bitch. 
Really... I do care... I'm just actively not freaking out about stuff that doesn't matter in the long run. 

My perspective changed when Thayer died.  I'm not happy about how I acquired my new perspective... but I see the advantage of gaining it.
I am broken, I am far from perfect, and I'm a constant work in progress.
I'm slowly learning to enjoy the uneventfulness.  And when things get crazy, I remind myself that "things have been worse".