I’ve read a few books about writing and forming habits. Simple advice: Just write…. One bird at a time. One sentence, one page. Establish a habit…. 5 minutes a day.
Simple.
I’ve created a writing room. I’ve
added plants, a clock. I admire the
room often. I feel the urge to sit and
type.
Simple.
But what in the world would I write about?!
Death? Life? Friendship? Fact?
Fiction?
I sit tonight in front of the dark window and feel the relief at my fingertips
to just be doing it. No agenda, just
the motion. I guess that’s how the habit
starts.
There’s always an underlying hesitation when I want to start the habit. I don’t
want to be judged by the REAL writers, the ones who are poetic and
mysterious. I already hear their
voices, “She needs to stop whining about it, and follow through. Write.
Take a class. Go to workshops. Learn the secret art of writing.”
The thought of being taught to write properly is a turn off. I write to get things out of my head. And by the looks of my blog posts recently…..
There is not much in my head. That’s a
scary thought.
I want to have thoughts and notions so important that they scratch at my skull
until I get them onto paper.
The people
who really know me don't often know my inner thoughts until I get them out in
print.
That’s another source of hesitation.
How can I write about things so easily but not be able to express myself
to those who are closest to me? I can’t
even speak coherent sentences.
Is expressing myself through writing being fraudulent to how I express myself
in real life? I want to be the same
person from all angles. If I write
about life, I want to be consistent in how I portray myself.
Of course, I could attempt writing fiction but I don’t consider myself creative
enough for that.
I like to write from experience. I like to write what God is teaching
me. I’ve said it before that I have
more “material” when I’m deep into learning something with Jesus.
Which- now- this entire blubbery mess gives me pause.
Where am I with Jesus? Am I
learning nothing these days?!
Here it is:
I’m walking every day, BUT no longer for exercise!
Let that sink in for a moment.
This is really a shocker because I hyper focused on exercise for YEARS! Exercise and weight loss have HAUNTED me for years! These past few months I walk for the simple reason that God has given me the ability to do it, and I don’t want to waste that blessing. Every morning I think about the people who don’t have the physical ability to walk, or the people who choose not to be in God’s creation. And then I think about how very blessed I am to be able to use my legs and spend that intentional time with God each morning. The very shift in my reasoning has made my mornings more enjoyable and the “exercise and weight loss” obsession has faded away.
I’m hopeful this somewhat drastic shift of perspective will be a habit that will reap long term benefits, spiritually and physically. How could it not?! I’ve got the best of everything each morning.
Day 1.
