It's designed so well. The exit from the nest is gradual. It starts with putting the little one on the bus to Kindergarten. Followed by overnight sleepovers with friends, school trips, driver's licenses, first jobs.
The first baby from my nest went rather quickly. He stayed local and I finally had a room for guests.... so that worked out well.
My youngest baby just had his last little push out of the nest. We dropped him off for Air Force Boot camp on March 8th.
Now, let's get this straight.... I've been preparing for this for YEARS. I remember years ago noting that my kids would be grown when I was 43. Noting how young I would be to have grown kids. After years of single motherhood I knew I was raising my kids up to leave home and be independent people. I had told them for years that they would not be adults living in my basement. I prepared the boys and myself for this moment.
I've always thought logically about the empty nest thing....so imagine my surprise when all of a sudden I was experiencing EMOTION the day before, the night of, and the day after Lucas' departure. The kind of emotion that welled up within and spilled out of my eyes. I didn't bawl or wail... but I had a few moments realizing the finality of my child rearing years.
The cookies left on the counter, that Lucas won't eat. The shoes in his bedroom, that he won't wear. The car in our driveway that we won't hear coming home each night. It was the little things that caught me off guard.
I think the fact that Lucas will be so far from home makes it feel more final. We won't get more than a visit from him (if that) for the next six years.
Technically.... it will always be a "visit" from both boys from now on. My kids no longer live here. That's a weird feeling.... but a feeling that a multitude of people have experienced.
I was surprised by my own emotion and then I suddenly felt sad for parents who put all of their emphasis on their kids. How do they even survive an empty nest?! It would be gut-wrenching for people who base their whole identity on their kids. This is my fair warning to anyone with younger children.... please establish hobbies, friendships, and a strong marriage! Before you know it.... your house will be empty.
If it's taken me by surprise, I know it will be hard for others.
Our Lifegroup recently discussed the difference between facts and truth, and I'm correlating that message to my current situation.
The facts of a child-less house are all around me: Dark and quiet rooms, uneaten sweets, quiet cars, clean bedrooms and bathrooms.
But the truth of a child-less home is that I raised strong independent young men. That was my plan all along, and I am so proud of them. The truth is also that I'm still a mom....and I'll be adjusting to my new role as a mom to adult children.
Here's to a new era. :)
