blissful blog

It seems as though I'm rainy day blogger.   I so easily throw up all of the bad stuff for people to read, and then when things are semi-normal, my keyboard is quiet.

But tonight, I've decided to treat everyone with a blissful blog.

The past week or so has been lovely.    Fall is my favorite time of year and we always manage to keep ourselves busy with various festive events.  

I've enjoyed the corn maze with my adult friends.... (well, the three of them that followed through with their intentions of showing up.)
 ((I'm not bitter, at all, with the others.  really.))
And I just returned from a fabulous weekend at the beach, where I finished my 2010 family scrapbook.    

Perhaps I'm in such a happy mindset simply because I had some time away.   That always seems to help :)

Most Octobers I am packed to the hilt.   But somehow, this week, I feel like I'm able to breathe. 
It's the first year that I haven't volunteered to take treats to the elementary school classes.   And I graciously bowed out of having lunch dates with my friends this week.
(Sadly, I missed my Monday 'sister lunch' and haven't been able to visit my new niece because I've been battling a cold.)

This week, for the first time in months, I've had a few empty days on the calendar.     I went ahead and scheduled a day to shop, a day to clean, a day for yard work, a day for party prep cooking,  a day for carving pumpkins and hosting our annual pumpkin party.    My anal planning is going well so far and I'm hopeful that the party day will arrive and I'll be cool as a cucumber, instead of being overwhelmed with last minute toilet cleaning.

This week is going so well, in fact, that I recognize my children for obeying and being helpful around the house.  Their attitudes have been amazing.  They have willingly done their homework, written thank you notes for birthday gifts, done yard work, and eaten their dinner without complaints.
Did I mention that I've cooked dinner two nights in a row?!   And I've packed lunches two days this week!   I feel like  rock star in the parental involvement area.
(this has alot to do with my weekend away, recharging my batteries, I'm sure.)
I'm secretly wondering if this is what normal families experience... and I wonder if I can keep this kind of happiness in our home.  It's been so nice :)

This week, I also got caught up on my new responsibilities as the elementary school PTO treasurer.  Somehow I think I can do this job, since it doesn't require too much time during school hours.   I hope that's true.  Weeks ago, I spent 4.5 hours sorting through the paperwork train wreck of previous years, and with that initial panic subsiding, I think I can make it work.    I felt pride as I wrote several checks this week and got the papers all organized and pretty.

Ahhh... I've been feeling so organized and relaxed.  So much, that I started to wonder what I was forgetting?  What was I not doing?  How could my schedule be so blissfully calm?

Then I realized that I had not paid my mid-month bills.     hahahahha.   silly me.
I must make the disclaimer that I have NEVER forgotten to pay my bills!  Even following Thayer's death, when I couldn't function, I was still able to pay my bills.    I was determined to keep on top of those things.
And here I am in a happy place and I totally flake out!
I can balance a  PTO checkbook but I was late making my own payments.   how lame :)
And don't worry!  It wasn't  "they are gonna turn off my electricity" late.  It was more like "oh S!@#, I think I'm gonna have to pay the late fee on that credit card!" late.

(And please don't tell me to start paying everything online, with the computer.  I'm just not into that yet.  I like to see the money come in... and I like to be in charge of it going out.    I do have automatic withdrawals for the things that remain the same from month to month... but otherwise, I'm a proud check writer and an envelope/stamp user.     don't hate.)

Other than my bill negligence, I'm doing pretty darn good this week!   I've been getting to bed earlier!  AND doing some light reading!
Good times.

extreme leafing.

busyness

I just enjoyed a little friend therapy with sabrina this afternoon.  It's always so good to sit down with a good friend and just talk.    We talk about our busyness and our tired-ness and our slight sense of depression-ness.  (yeah, I just wanted to make up a few words there)  ;)

Seems like I enjoy running myself ragged.  I have planned alot of fun things for the fall.  I seem to run from one activity to the next.  And in the brief moments of nothing, I tend to pace around and wonder what I should be doing, or what I have forgotten.
It seems like I have forgotten how to be still.     I have forgotten to pick up my Bible and get lost in random scripture.  I have forgotten to just 'be'.    
I think that I occupy myself to get my mind off of the always hovering loneliness that drops in when I'm not surrounded by people.   And even in that, I can often find myself lonely in a crowd.

I want to start making decisions that follow my favorite saying of 'less is best'.   In that, I hope I can re-train myself to sit at home in my pjs, once in a while.

I made the decision to skip out on my yearly trek to see Andrew Peterson in December.   This is huge for me, because I ALWAYS jump on the chance for a road trip.  I was wondering if I am depressed... or if I'm actually gonna carve out some time to spend at home.
I think I might schedule a pj day instead.  
I should probably go write that on my calendar....

another week

A superb weekend has drawn to a close.    A weekend of social outings, pumpkin purchases, a birthday party, a sleepover, church and lifegroup.   
Monday is right around the corner.   Another day of 6:30 waking.
Another day of begging Lucas to get out of bed at 7:15, 7:20, 7:30, 7:40.

I'm looking forward to Saturday...  That's my day to sleep late.  I tell the kids to sleep late too.
And Lucas gets up at 6:45.
I. don't. get. it.
6:45 on a saturday.....asking to play games on the computer.
no. way.

So, tomorrow, on  Monday.... I plan to ring the bells and clang the cymbals... and get that boy out of bed.

october!!

My favorite month arrived in a blustery way yesterday.     I declared our only free Saturday a 'stay home day', which actually involved staying home most of the day and then going out for Mexican and Target. 
(no matter how hard I try... I just can't stay at home!)

I pulled out my halloween decorations.    It turns out that since my mantra is "less is best", that I really don't have many decorations to speak of.   But less does tend to be best in my household.    Fortunately I do manage to pull off two halloween themed bathrooms and a halloween tree.   I am content and pleased.

I had big plans to skip church and take my kids to the Corn Maze today.   
Those plans dissolved when I had two kids who rudely disobeyed everything I asked them to do last night.   They had an entire free day with their friends, got to do, and go everywhere they wanted.... and then completely treated me like shit.     
So the fun plans were canceled and Lucas is spending most of the day in his room.    Daniel's offenses were less.... and he is currently wearing a camoflauge suit and running around the neighborhood.    And I am enjoying some quiet time on the couch.  :)

Two great things about this weekend:
1- I put our feathers back on our beds yesterday.      You're probably sick of hearing about my feathers.  But they have been lifechanging :)    I have a goose down comforter that is THE best source of heat in the world.     My boys have duck down blankets...which I hope are just as warm.   Lucas slept until 9:37am all cuddled up in his blanket.   The house was about 60 degrees this morning and it was great sleeping weather with our feathers!     Can't wait to crawl back in tonight!! 

2.  I hung pictures of my boys in the basement last night.    Two 14x18 frames with pictures of each boy ages one through five.      The great news is that I hung them straight and level... all on my own!!!   (Each frame had two hangers...and that irritates me.)    You should have seen my happy dance when I stood back and admired my handywork!  :-)    Thayer would have been proud!  

Earlier this morning, I went downstairs to admire my picture hanging ability and I actually stopped to look at the photographs.    It's amazing to see how much my boys have changed over the years.   And then I realized their smiles.    Each smile was so genuinely happy and innocent.   It reminded me of happier times. 
All of the pictures were taken before Thayer died.
And honestly, my kids don't take pictures with those kinds of smiles anymore.     Logically, I know it's because they are older, pre-teenish grumps.   But I can't help to think that their smiles changed forever when Thayer died.  There is something missing in them now.... the stability and innocence is lost.  And that is sad.

But I'm not gonna dwell on that today... because October is here!!  :-)   Enjoy it!