My mind keeps backtracking to the Valentine's day broadcast of our local Christian radio station. The hosts, and (I think) a pastor, were speaking encouragement to all of the single people who are waiting for a spouse. I listened briefly and determined that they weren't particularly encouraging single people.... but more so expressing to single people that one of their priorities is to find a spouse. The more they talked, I felt that they were saying, "
Don't worry. just wait it out until God brings you that person that will complete you. Keep praying for that perfect person to come along. Marriage will be the answer to your loneliness."
And I get that. I think that most people DO desire to have companionship that marriage provides. But I think that we are failing as a church body, when even our radio stations are preaching to the masses that marriage is the answer, and that you aren't whole until you find a spouse.
The truth is that there are tons of wonderful, godly people that won't ever have a spouse. For whatever reason, God wants them to remain single. And that's okay!! I'm no Bible scholar but I know that Paul talks about singleness somewhere in Corinthians.
Lo and behold.... a quick Google search shows me that Paul encouraged singleness!! (He writes about good relationship stuff in 1Corinthians 7: 1-40) He basically says (loosely paraphrased):
-Remain single (unless you don't have self control).
-If you're free from a wife... don't seek one.
-Those who marry have worldly troubles... Unmarried people can focus on God and what pleases the Lord.
-He who marries does well, but he who refrains from marriage does even better.
-Widows can re-marry... but they are happier if they don't.
I consider myself to have a unique perspective on this married/single thing. (In case you missed it: I was married, widowed, and remarried)
I know before my first marriage, I desired a husband. I never really dated and I was blessed when God dropped Thayer from the sky for me. I was married at 21 and proceeded to follow the plan that every little Jesus girl follows. Marriage, kids, happy homemaker.
My world was obviously crushed when Thayer died. I was a widowed solo parent. I had an abrupt entry into the single world of the church. It is dark and lonely there. I am witness to that. The church is highly guilty of idolizing marriage and families (as it should be to an extent) but at the high cost of excluding those who don't fit the mold.
The first few years of widowhood I prayed and prayed for God to send me another husband, another dad for my boys. After several years I dug in and considered a future on my own. I surrounded myself with amazing friends and family. My life was full. I learned contentment in my situation.
Somehow Greg dropped in and I remarried. Greg was a surprise from God and I am super thankful. Wouldn't change this blessing for anything. But at times, I still need to find my contentment in God alone. Marriage is hard!
Whew! All of this wordiness to say.....I have lived both realities and I can attest to the facts that being married is a GIFT! And being single is a GIFT! There are sooo many pro and cons to each situation. I think the key is learning contentment in whatever boat God puts you in.
Single friends, enjoy it! Really, enjoy it! Married folks, enjoy it!
God can use us. All of us. Our worth is in Him alone. Whoever he puts along your path.... be it a spouse, friends, family.... find contentment in knowing you are sons and daughters of God.
You are loved.
