the destination

 I'm at the beach this week with a dear friend, for what she calls a "soul-cation".    An entire week away to focus on reading, praying, morning solitude, walking, and playing a few rounds of Bananagrams-by myself (while she works a puzzle) is something I've never done.... but I am IN for this.
This morning I decided to walk to the pier.   

See it?

The weather was perfect and the sand was packed, flat and ready for foot travel.   I headed off at a steady pace and the pier became closer and closer in matter of minutes.  It wasn't nearly as far away as I had anticipated.   No problem, I'd be back to my beach chair before I knew it!

Gradually the sand became softer and mushier and each step started to require a little more effort.   The shore began to slope towards the sea and each step became a chore as I had to climb up and around to avoid a group of fisherman.   My legs were starting to talk, waking muscles that hadn't been used in a while.  Should I maybe just call it a day and head back?

But I could see that pier!.... it was my goal.  I honestly had nothing else to do today.   I reminded myself, "sometimes we do hard things".  I even had the thought that "If Jesus could suffer for me..... I can certainly put in a little effort to walk to a pier."    Come on, Jill.... make it happen!

I dug my feet in with each step and pushed myself to get to those pilings.   I actually counted the last 50 steps or so, feeling as if I was crossing a finish line of sorts.
I stood under the pier for a brief moment, hands on my hips, anticipating a moment of inspiration.  I'm learning to look for God in these kinds of moments.... what does he want to teach me through something as simple as a morning walk?  

I looked out at the weathered wood pilings and happened to look up at the underside of the pier.   To my surprise I saw birds!   There were SO many birds nestled along the boards under the pier.  They looked oddly wind beaten and worn out.  I suppose they were taking a break and finding refuge from the wind under the sturdy deck boards.   Which reminded me of how that pier was designed to be a strong pillar 

in a rather unpredictable sea.  It was a source of protection and a place for birds to find rest.

Yup, there it was- the inspiration.

God is our refuge.  Our safe place.  When we are heavy and travel weary..... God is there.   When life's journey is unexpected and harder than we anticipated..... God's promises never fail.   When we are tired and needing rest..... God's character is unchanging.   In the same way the birds cling to the pier for solace.... we must cling to God for peace.  He is sturdy, our rock, our protector. 

Psalm 46:1-3
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.  Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at it's swelling.

And..... it turns out that that the pier was only 1.3 miles from my starting location on the beach. (2.6 round trip).
Such a struggle of a walk, which I thought was taking away my day, took 45 minutes.   I made it back in time for lunch and reading.
Sometimes we need to do hard things to realize that they weren't so hard after all.  

Psalm 118:14

The Lord is my strength and my song; He has given me victory.     :)

Isaiah 40:31
But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not be weary, they will walk and not be faint.

details

Spending more time in solitude and prayer has led me to think about leaves an awful lot.   I've always been intrigued by leaves.... in a similar way that I'm intrigued by the ocean.   The vastness and magnitude of the ocean water, held in place by God's design is something to marvel.   
But how about those tiny leaves?!.. trillions of them...Each one part of an intricate vascular plant.  They form, grow and live for a season- knowing the exact moment to release for the fall.   We often take these tiny details of nature for granted.    But boy oh boy, the God of the ocean is the same God of the leaves.  Let us not forget that He lives in the smallest details.

I've found so much peace knowing that God is in the details.   There is clearly a big picture at play here.... the big wins, the big losses, the joy of new and the mourning of old.      

The big moments shape our perspective and we should be thankful for what we learn.   
For instance, the tragic loss of Thayer taught me that "things could always be worse"..... that the small stuff in life is minor.   
Many things are cyclical, just like the presence of the leaves.   
"This too shall pass" comes to my mind often.   
Not many things compare to losing a young spouse, and I have been given a unique perspective that should keep me grounded.  

But ya know.... life happens.

A few weeks ago I had a weird toe infection.   I cringe as I type that.   It didn't have anything to do with my toenail....so I wasn't sure if I had a minor cut or an insect bite that went awry.  

Anyway, I was so grossed out by it.   For the first few days I was convinced that I would probably need to seek medical treatment.  But surprisingly, it started to heal and I raved and raved and raved about how God designed our bodies so perfectly, to fight infection and to heal.     

The VERY same day that I'm praising God for his healing design..... I tweaked my back while cutting flowers in my yard. 
Are you kidding me?!    I was distraught.  I was so fearful that one more incorrect move would rend me immobile, as I had been in the past.   Although I knew that "this too shall pass" I was freaked out and became super whiny.   

How quickly I forgot.

I don't want to forget that the God of the ocean and the leaves also cares for me, and you!   He's not only showing up during the big moments in our lives..... but in the smallest simplest moments as well.

I'm reminded of Matthew 10:29-31 "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father's care.  And even the very hairs on your head are all numbered.  So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows."

God is in our details.  We need to trust him with ALL of it.