Dear Barbara

Dear Barbara,
You silly girl.   You just asked me for advice.    That's rather humbling.... scary... and very humorous.

I am very touched that  you consider my opinion to be worthy of consideration.

So for what it's worth, here's my general life advice....(compiled just this evening)....
and it's a great reminder for myself as well!

1.  Support your husband.  Always.  Encourage him in his interests, love him well, and don't sweat the small stuff in the relationship.    Date him, often. 

After Thayer's death, I gained a vivid clarity of what a marriage should be like.   I knew instantly things that I would do differently if given another chance.   So do things right the first time!  Don't hold back.  

2. Let your kids take risks.  Let them learn through natural consequences... which will include failure.   Be honest with your kids about life.  Life is full of disappointments and heartache.  Don't shelter them from it.   Teach them to be brave and compassionate.   Introduce them to all kinds of people and new situations. 

They are individuals who will need to live, work, and be productive adults in a fallen world.   

Pray that they will be a light in the darkness.

3.  Say "NO".   

If you don't want to do something... say 'no'.  
It takes a while to master this.   But that one word will change your life!  
Keep some empty calendar squares-- and chances are-- they will fill up with things that you enjoy doing!  (instead of things you are obligated to do).

4. Nurture your friendships.  (By spending time with friends)

This is a biggie, but make this happen!    It is a time to re-energize, relax, and feel like a 'person' again.
It can be easy to get stuck in the mom role... but you are your own person too!  
 Once the kids are grown, or (heaven forbid) your husband dies, (or leaves you for a younger woman)....  your friends will be vital.  Don't isolate yourself.

Bonus: Netflix.
I threw this in here because Netflix has been a great asset to my happiness.
Choose a series and watch one episode each day.  you can do this, because you deserve it!

disclaimer:  I, in no way, claim to be an expert in advice giving.  I am a broken, imperfect person, with imperfect kids, in an imperfect environment.
But for what's it's worth.... I'm happy.  :)

content discontentment

I have been reveling in snow day excitement.
Don't get me wrong... I enjoy my job.  But I enjoy not going to my job more.
I have an idealistic dream that I can one day become a stay at home mom again.   Ha.  Not that I can birth any more babies.  But it would be cool to stay home and be house wifey.   Perhaps my future sugar daddy can let me fulfill my dream.

I am not one that enjoys to stay at home for long periods of time.  I usually have to go somewhere every day. 
With the thought of impending snow, I had to gear up for this week.   For days prior to the snow, we ran around, went shopping, went to the skate park, and ate out.  I knew I had to get activity out of my system or I would completely melt down with cabin fever.

It's been one full day at home.  I survived.   And I accomplished nothing.
(Well, I did balance my checkbook, only to realize that we probably shouldn't have run around so much this week). ha.

Overall, It was nice to have a day 'off' from everything, but I find it difficult to be content with doing nothing.  It's hard to just be still.   I am so very content with being at home, but not necessarily content with being at home.  (If you know what I mean.)

I've been learning "rest" for almost a year.   It was my 'one word' from last year.  And I'm still learning.  A lot of it has to do with me learning to be content with non-action.
I'll have another opportunity to practice this tomorrow....
right after we shovel the driveway...

because,really,  I need to get outta here!