I am at a loss as to what to write tonight. I'm not sure how to put my thoughts into paragraphs...
-I am tearful and heart broken of the fact that D and L probably won't remember their Daddy.
-Thayer had such great plans for his boys and I am sad that no one will be able to teach them in the same way that Thayer taught. Thayer was a great teacher. so patient. so calm.
-I am struggling with the fact that I can't hear Thayer's voice....
-I am worried about how we will remember him. Only through pictures? Through stories? I am so afraid that we will forget all of the little things that made him so special.
-I am thankful for people who have shared stories about Thayer. I am encouraged that he made an impact on so many people... in many different ways.
-I'm lonely. I miss his presence.
-I'm overwhelmed.
-I want to lock my doors tomorrow and take the phone off the hook....just to have one quiet day... the first in three weeks.
-wow. three weeks. tomorrow.
-I'm afraid of the fact that this grieving thing will probably get worse before it gets better.
-Will I love my boys well? Will I help them through this process?
We're going to Kids Haven on Monday. I hope it will be helpful for us all.
-I'm just tired.
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every day things, recent thoughts, rare ponderings
About Me
- Jill
- I was suddenly widowed in 2008 and was a solo parent to my two boys for nearly 9 years. I was remarried to my husband, Greg, in 2017. It's safe to say that the past years have been quite a journey for our family. It has been a blessing to see how God has written our story and been our provider.
the day of 8/16/08
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6 comments:
sweet friend, i was just thinking about thayer's voice last night...i remember it as calm and encouraging...i think even content describes your man. i was talking to the boys about the verse "be content in all circumstances" and i feel that thayer lived out that verse so well. i love you. take a break from communicating today.
Jill-
My heart hurts because your heart is broken! I said a special prayer for you this AM. If you want to lock your doors and take the phone off the hook for a quiet day... do so! Everyone that loves you will understand! I am so thankful for organizations like Kids Haven! THANK YOU for sharing your thoughts online so that those of us who love you can keep in touch with you. We want you to share all your feelings with us! So many people love you and the boys!!! I hope there is peace in your day.
Love - SMc
Jill,
Take the phone off the hook, lock the doors, cry and snuggle up with your babies! There is nothing at all wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with grieving and it is part of the process. By the by, if it helps, my Mom Mom died when I was in Kindergarten, I was only 4 . I remember her very very well because she was such a special person. Thayer was such a wonderful husband and father. The boys will never ever forget him! Love and prayers to you all.
Kelly
I found you off of another site. I'm not sure what to say, but I will be thinking and praying for your family in this time of grief.
Jill,
You are such an awesome mom! I am continually impressed at how well you handle your boys. I am convinced that the Lord will continue to watch over and sustain you as you walk through these difficult days. Lean on Him and on your friends.
Pizza and cookies was fun for me!!!! E
Jill,
My heart breaks knowing that you are going through this and there is nothing anyone can do to make it all better. We help, we support, we love, but nothing will really make your pain go away but time and faith, and your faith is amazing. Remember yourself and take care of you. I love you friend.
-JLG
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