Saturday, September 13, 2008

4 weeks

It's been four weeks. Tonight has been sad.

We ventured to Target this evening. The Halloween things that usually make me ecstatic didn't quite hold the thrill that they usually do. Dont' get me wrong... I still got that warm bubbly feeling about the Fall/Halloween merchandise BUT
I kept remembering that Thayer won't be around to experience this season with us.
He never understood my fascination with Halloween but over the years I noticed how he became more supportive and I even think he looked forward to it every year. We had even started planning our "pumpkin party" shortly before he died.

Even though tonight has been difficult, I am excited to carry on with my fall plans.

In the midst of my grief I am finding things to be thankful for. One of those things is FALL!!! I can't think of a better season. God has blessed us with a beautiful climate. I love that we are able to experience all four seasons in our area.

I know that as the days cooled down, Thayer would have been looking forward to rides on the parkway and hiking with the boys. And I was certain that I could convince him to go camping again. I was even prepared to help do some of the work this time :-)
I am crying at the thought that we will never camp as a family again.
(I wonder if there is camping in heaven? It's nice to know that camping conditions are perfect... and sleeping in a tent is probably enjoyable up there) hehe.

side note:
I attended the Extraordinary Women's conference with my friends L,M,L and K. I was so encouraged that the "theme verse" for the conference was Jeremiah 29:11!!!! That is MY verse! I have been clinging to those words each day! I was encouraged by the speakers and the songs.
This has been a constant reminder that God LOVES me! He is speaking to me daily. I am blessed.

2 comments:

Adrienne said...

Jill,
My all time FAVORITE Holiday is Halloween too! It was my Dad's too and we used to do SO many things to slightly "scare" the neighborhood kids. There was a time where I wouldn't T-or-T because I loved watching my Dad in action. After he died, Halloween became a black hole for me at first. Now that hole isn't so big and I look at it as a tribute to my Dad. Now going into Target I get all giddy and bubbly again. People think I'm weird.
And you're right. It IS perfect camping weather!!!

Jamie said...

Halloween will be the first of many holidays that you will probably have to "reinvent". This being your favorite holiday and your favorite time of year, you should do things that you always wanted to do but never got around to doing. I've seen your social calendar and I know it's packed but make sure you leave some time open for you. Be spontaneous. You always have a friend willing to pack up and head out - to the peaks, on a hike, bike, camp out, bon fire, etc. You can count on me...

Love ya.