He redeemed my soul from going down to the pit, and I will live to enjoy the light.
(Job 33:28 niv)
Yestereday was termed our "day of transition". We decided to stay close to home and hang out around the house.
It turns out that I had WAY too much time to think, and put myself on an emotional downward spiral.
I think it all boils down to the fact that we were immersed into this beautiful family and I watched Thad be a wonderful father and a loving uncle. It was a painful reminder of what I have lost.
I was reminded about what a slacker I have been as a mom.
I just haven't had anything to give...
I knew that I wanted today to be MUCH better. I am always thankful when God gives us a chance to start again each morning.
I decided that I'd go on a walk with God when I woke. So we headed out.
I am amazed at the climate of Arizona this time of year. Perfect to say the least. The weather is amazing, the trees are green, the bushes are blooming. Just beautiful.
As I am noticing the blooms on the bushes and thinking about the falling leaves in Virginia I could hear God compare the leaves to my "old" life. and the blooms to my "new" life.
I could hear Him say "for the old things have passed away... I am making everything new!"
(yeah, I know those phrases from Revelation refer to the new heaven and the new earth... but it seemed to hit me right where I could understand.)
Then I also remembered what a new friend, who also lost her husband, wrote to me last night. She basically said that we can't change God's plans... "so why not try to get busy living".
Great point.
I can either sit around and wallow in what I have lost... or face my "new" life with excitement. I think it's time that I start offering more to my children so they can also start to grasp what God
may have in store for us. If I'm going to tackle this gig of being a single mom... it's about time I start doing it right.
so... it turns out that yesterday was not solely our day of transition. But this time away from home may be the start of a true transition into our new lives.
Please pray that I can stay positive, stay focused on God, and accept what the future may hold.
3 comments:
It's going to take time to heal and move forward, and you will totally fall down again and again. But you are DOING GREAT. I look to you and feel so much respect.
And watching Thad makes ALL of us feel like inadequate parents! lol
Yep. Even when I watch myself, I feel like an inadequate parent. Maybe that's because I'm a 1 on the Enneagram.
You are a wonderful mom. We all should strive to be better. Better Mom's, freinds, daughters. We all fall short sometimes, but you are the best. I miss you and love you. I continue to pray for you and the boys. I am so haapy GOD had blessed you with this time with your family.
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery.Today is a gift. That is why it is called the present. Kung Fu Panda
Post a Comment