this year

Glancing back at my posts from 2022.... it feels like I'm in the flow of empty nesting.   I have found my groove of working super part time, being a home maker, and being in community with others.    When I think about the year, I think I have learned to slow down, a lot.   
There are days when I stay at home all day- and it's not extremely torturous anymore. 
(However one full day at home is my limit! Get me out there with my people!)

I'm keenly aware that 2022 was a TOUGH year for many.   And I'm even more keenly aware that 2023 will probably not go as smoothly for me as last year.   I'm already anticipating some bumps in the road and I'm prayerful that God will keep us secure in His plans over the months to come.   I am always so thankful for God's provision in all circumstances.

I listened to a wonky podcast today.   Some guy was basically saying that the habits and "how-tos" of life that we adhere to are complete junk.  He said that if we are looking for something significant, lasting and real.... that there are no "how-tos" that work.   

His example was that there are millions of books written about happiness, money, peace, relationships.... and if the books actually worked.... why are there millions of them?! 
He goes on to say that "there should have just been one book and it would have worked'.   

And my thought..... THERE IS ONE BOOK THAT WORKS!     This guy totally missed it.  He misses ALL of it. 

He also said that the "most futile thing on earth is to try to convince someone."
I wish I could convince folks that the Bible IS the only way.   The Bible is packed with all of the "how tos" in life.  How to find joy, how to treat others, how to manage your money, how to find peace.  It's the best "self help" book on the market.

I've watched a few folks really struggle this year..... and I keep thinking "they need Jesus".   Jesus is the only way to find contentment in the normalcy, and peace in the turbulence;  yet so many people completely miss Him.   It so often feels futile trying to convince others.... so I pray that God will do the convincing and bring people to Him.   
At the same time, I pray that God will use me this year, that he will mold me to be more vocal about my faith.    I want to absorb the Word more this year and be more confident in my ability to talk about the hope I have in Christ.  
Lord willing, I can grow my faith and be a light to others.

Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path. 
Psalm 119:105

Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.
Jeremiah 6:16

out with old, in with new

I have new plates and bowls!  I have wanted square dishes for a long time and thanks to Christmas gift cards I made the purchase today. 

As we ring in the year 2020.... I realize that we've been using our old plates for 20 years!  They were the place settings that I registered for when Thayer and I were married.   

These plates have seen my babies grow into men.... one has flown the nest... and one will follow shortly.    I've decided that I'm starting fresh for the new decade: for the new chapter in our lives.

Not only did I get new plates and bowls.... but I downsized!  I am so excited about this!

Throughout my minimalist journey I have discoverd that I rarely, if EVER, use all TWELVE of my place settings.   Truth be told... If I have a large group over for dinner.... we use paper products.  Anyone with me?

Recently, I also decided that I wanted to intentionally start using my great aunt's china instead of hoarding it away.

I have devised a perfect plan:

Today I purchased FOUR of each: dinner plates, salad plates, bowls. 

These will be our every day dishes.   Crisp, clean, white and square :)  

If I have more than four guests we will use the china.  

(I have 8 place settings)

And if we have more than 8 guests.... paper plates per usual.

sha-zam!

I love the little changes that I'm making in our environment.    

How about you?  What changes will you make in the new year?

so I can remember....

Hightlights from 2019:


-Both boys to WinterBlast at Camp Orchard Hill, Pennsylvania.
-Greg and Jill spent a weekend in Staunton, VA
-Jill hosted a Galentine party for her close friends, presented "love letters"
-We adopted Maleficent from the Humane Society on February 9th.  (aka Mally, Mal, Malory, Maddy, Madelyn)
-Valentine's dinner at Moore's Country Store.
-Girl's weekend to Richmond. (drag brunch and cinebistro)
-Seasonal sleepovers with the neices and nephew
-UVA wins National Championship in basketball
-Daniel has season pass to Wintergreen, injures his rotator cuff and wrist.  skateboards often.
-Lucas attends Midway Baptist Church youth weekend "Dnow, Relentless"
-Family and friend birthday celebrations. 
-Daniel works at Upper Crust Pizza
-Boys: Youth lock-in
-Jill goes to the beach for spring break with Jamie and Tanner
-Taylor starts job as a reporter for WSET.
-Greg and Jill to Arizona for the Axon conference (april 29-May 2).... visit with Thad and family.
-Daniel to Hyperfest in May and to VIR event in October
-Lucas competes in Ninja competiton in NC
-Daniel graduates from Brookville High School On May 31st.
-Greg attends concerts:  Tesla, Stryper, Skid Row, Iron Maiden
-Lucas attends LU-Sodexo Internship
-Pool parties:  extended family comes to swim.  Sunday afternoons with Colemans, youth group cookout
-Jill: monthly ladies' nights
-Jill: SNL (sunday night ladies) here.  Friendsgiving at Lisa's, Christmas party at Kelly's
-Lucas to Paris and Switzerland July 4-15
-Daniel was sick with low blood count on July 7th.  (missed greg's bday party)
-Daniel to Mexico with youth group July 11-20
-Summer lifegroup meetings in family homes.  It rained on our pool party day. 
-new couches
-Lucas gets official license,  first car 2000 Honda Civic hatchback.  (lemon)
-2nd wedding anniversary trip to Williamsburg, VA (Busch Gardens, ghost tour, ride on the ferry)
-Lucas starts work at Upper Crust Pizza after having very few hours at Dominos
-Daniel and Luke Martin purchase the van to fix up.  (still sits in driveway in december)
-Daniel starts working full time at Subaru August 14
-Grandma Gowell fell and broke her femur.... in hospital for almost a month battling complications of blood condition: ITP
-Jill starts lead teacher position, 2s class,Heritage United Methodist preschool.  (13th year of employment)
-Greg attends UVA football games
-Jill- Girl's annual trip to Virgiinia Beach, September
-Boys attend movie nights at Kartch's house
-Lucas' 17th birthday, Daniel's 19th birthday
-Jill attends ladies events at Rustburg UM Church with Kelly Gladden:  Game nights, icecream social, Friendsgiving, cookie exchange
-Boys attend Man Camp with Grace Church at the Torrence farm
-19th annual pumpkin party
-Greg to Gettysburg, PA for leadership training
-Greg and Jill: getaway to Richmond overnight (Cinebistro) and back to C-ville for basketball game
-Hosting Lifegroup Christmas party
-Jill and Jamie go to the theatre:  Best Christmas Pagaent Ever
-Greg and Jill go to the theatre: It's a Wonderful Life Radio Show
-Jill: "Jesus Book Club" dinner and discussions.
- Daniel moved out in November.  Staying with his friend Travis.  Looking to rent a larger house in the new year.
-Taylor brings boyfriend, Logan, to meet the family
-December 30: Greg employed by Lynchburg Police Department for 23 years

this year

At the end of this year I am considering what to reflect on.    This year has been full.  Full of memories and full of "new".   

We grieved the death of Grandma Botham.   

We have grieved the cat that won't actually die.    

We  have traveled.   We have worked.  We I have cried.   We have celebrated.

Greg and I were engaged.  Greg and I were married.  The boys gained a step-dad.  I gained a step-daughter.  

We finally got that "house in the country" that I've been dreaming about for years.    

It's almost like our little life got wrapped up in  a pretty bow this year.

I really haven't had too much time to let that thought sink in. (But wow... Thank you, God!)

The month of December was packed full with prepping and cleaning at the new house.   The movers moved us in on December 15th.   We were pretty much unpacked and settled before Christmas.   It's been busy, yet so rewarding.   It's been fun, and exhausting, making this house a home.

As I journeyed to our house on moving day.... I was admiring the countryside and it hit me that "this is what I've been waiting for".   I actually had tears of joy as I thanked God for bringing me to this point.   The new husband, the new house, a new beginning for our family.  It's still kind of surreal.

The last few months have not been easy....Seriously... not easy...at all.... but I'm hopeful and excited about the future.

I absolutely love our new place.   It's just far enough in the country to feel like it's country.... but it's only 20-30 minutes from where we need to be in town.   Better yet.... we are only 5 minutes to the nearest grocery store, post office, gas station, and several restaurants.   The location is perfect.

We have 3.5 acres and a swimming pool.    The acreage was on my wish list (though I had always wanted more.... this is pretty perfect).  And the pool was on Greg's wish list (but I assume we will all  benefit).   

In the new year, I'm excited to see what the four seasons will bring to our home.   I have visions of get-togethers, campfires, camping, swimming, game nights. 

2018.... here we come!

this past year

(I want to preface this blog with acknowledgment that this past year has been difficult for lots of people. Family and friends have faced death, illness, heartbreak, unemployment, and strained relationships... to name a few.  I know that many folks are glad to see the end of 2016 and they are praying for a better year to come. 

 I wish everyone a better 2017!)

 January 1st has always been my day for reflection, and summarizing, of the past year.    My blog posts from the year always remind me of how far our family has come, or they emphasize things that have been important to me.

Well...   I only posted 14 times this year.   ha.

I was apparently too busy to blog this year while I was managing family, friends, my new man, and new hobbies.  
 To sum up my year... it was awesome!   I feel confident to say that this has probably been my best year.... in years!

I didn't claim 2016 as my own like I've done other years.   I was gonna let it play out.

But while reading through old posts I can see I was shifting my thinking and gearing up for change.   Early in the year, I wrote a bit about reevaluationg my role in certain social relationships.  I also wrote about how I was anticipating change.  I started doing yoga every day, I started attending a new church group.   Looking back now, I can see that I was finally stepping out of my box and being open to something new.
Deuteronomy 2:3 is written on a sticky note in my kitchen window.  It says, "You have circled this mountain long enough.  Now turn north!"

2016 was my year to 'turn north' and I am thrilled with how God laid the road.

The biggest blessings this year:
-I lost the weight!
- I have daily exercise habits that I LOVE.  
-Physically, I feel better than I have since before kids.
-I'm dating the most amazing man.
-I am so in love and I have high hopes of a future with that man.  (no pressure, Greg)  ;)    
-My boys are healthy and happy.  (well... as happy as teenagers can be, I suppose).  
-Emotionally, my love tank is overflowing.
-God has been good to our little family this year.

A list of phrases that I thought I would NEVER say.... and I DID in 2016:
-I'd like to go to the game on saturday.
-I need more UVA shirts.
-All of my clothes are too big.
-Boys, I'm going for a jog.
-I think I've become a morning person.
-On my run this morning...
-Awww.  Puppies!
-I need more dresses.
-If we get a dog...

No telling what 2017 will be like!!
Bring it!

another year in the books

It's 10:55am on the first day of 2016 and I'm just rolling out of bed.   Not that I attended a rad party last night.   I stayed up late reading old blog posts and being irritated at my kids.   Those things are apparently exhausting.

At 11:40pm last night I decided to read through my blog posts from 2015.   There weren't very many posts and I was finishing up as I rang in the new year, alone in my kitchen.  
I had waited all day for the boys and I to go through our "memory jar" that I had been working on all year.   I had been recording events all year in hopes to read through them on New Year's Eve with my boys.    Little did I realize that this was not a priority for them. At. all.

What I realized by reading through my blog is that 2015 was, thankfully, uneventful... in a good way.
It was going to be my year to dive into minimalism and to shed my extra weight.
I only partially accomplished those things.    But I guess some progress is better than none.  
As the year officially closed, I had rid my house of at least 775 things and I had dropped 20 pounds.
The final weight loss was disappointing overall because of ups and downs in weight and motivation.

Also, looking back, I realized that a recurring topic was the illness of Mr. Q.   I had no idea that his illness consumed much of my time and thoughts during 2015.   It was just life at the time.
We said goodbye to Mr. Q, and Granny, this past fall.
It was their time. There were many tears shed, but also a relief on some levels.

Last year at this time, I was waiting for my kitchen to be completed.... and as of today, my bathrooms are also new!   That's a pretty productive year on the house front.   I think I'm able to say that I'm "done" with fixing-up at this point.   And that is a relief as well.

I had claimed 2014 as my year.   And I had claimed 2015 my year too.     And honestly.... they were okay.   They were filled with all the good stuff:  health, family, friends.
But being realistic... I'm not gonna claim 2016.   We'll just see what plays out.
I hope it's a good one.

two days

 (December 31st, 2014)

We've been unsettled over our Christmas break.  The kitchen remodel is underway and people come and go, but not daily.... so it's kind of a guessing game as to if I should sleep late or get up and be presentable when contractors arrive.    Today the boys and I slept until 9 when the floor guys came in.   I have a nifty sign on my door that notifies them of our presence and tells them to just do their thing.   So far, so good.
We've had about a week of inactivity after they found a default with the flooring and had to resolve it with Lowes.   Once the new floors get here, the rest should fall into place.
I was glad to see the floor guys today as they are prepping.

The no-kitchen thing has been fine.   We have eaten out a ton, without that extra guilt of not cooking.  "It's justified", I like to think.
And we've been fed well by others!   The Tibbs family has offered to feed us every Monday, forever.   ;).....and my folks, and others have invited us to dinner.
 I'd like to think I'll repay the favor when I get a kitchen.   IF I use the kitchen for cooking.

This project is obviously huge for our family.    Especially all at once.   If Thayer were still alive, I think that he may have remodeled our kitchen by now.   It was his plan all along.  It was our plan.
  I envision it would have been a very slow process.   A small bit at a time..... floors one year,  painted cabinets one summer, new appliances as needed.   The whole project may have been completed by now.   Six years in the making.    Lots of nagging from me, and probably lots of work from me and the boys as well.

(January 1, 2015)

So here we are seven and a half years after moving in and I'm having the kitchen remodeled in a matter of weeks.    It's overwhelming.
 Even after talking about it for years.... if feels like a dream that it's actually happening.
 I am thankful for Thayer's planning and provisions that make it possible.   I'm seeing our plans come to fruition and it's pretty exciting.

Today is the first day of 2015.
We were blessed to spend this new year's day, and evening, with several families.   And I realize how thankful I am for all of the various relationships God has provided for our family this year.   He's been generous with new friendships and providing times for old friendships to remain.
I hope that this year will be a great one for our friends and family.

 I'm indecisive of if I should set goals or anticipate events this year.
I honestly haven't processed beyond the next few days.
We are back to work and school on Monday.  
I dread having to shift our sleeping schedule again.
And no matter how much I am enjoying my class this year, I am so anxious for summer to roll around.    (I really, really like my summer sleep schedule).
 In the meantime I'll settle for some snow days.  That would be okay too.

another year

Christmas came and went without too much fanfare.   Lucas got a camera, Daniel got a camcorder.  They also received gift cards and other nifty things from relatives.    We tend to keep it simple around here.   My boys tend to be very content with what they have.  Prior to Christmas, they couldn't even think of anything to ask for this year.   (I suppose that could also mean that I spoil them with too much stuff throughout the year.  I dunno.) 

We postponed our usual after-Christmas trip to South Carolina.   We'll be going down later this spring.    This is the first time we've been home for so long during a Christmas vacation.  It has been marvelous.   I have been super excited about sleeping late.   I can't even recall what we have done for the past week... but it's been grrrreat!

I can't believe that another year is behind us.    This was our fifth Christmas without Thayer.
 I managed to fill the stockings on Christmas Eve without tears.     
There is always that empty feeling during family gatherings... but it was a little less achy this year.

Looking back on this year.... I realized that I have only blogged 48 times.  That is a far cry from previous years.   I suppose that it's a good thing.  I haven't had too much on my mind that was dying to get out in print.  

It also saddens me because I feel like I've lost some of my motivation for writing... and thinking. 
I owe most of my lost motivation to the fact that my relationship with Jesus has been pushed to the side this year.   I haven't been on close speaking terms with Him.   I really want to rekindle my relationship with Him this coming year.   I want to reinvest my time to be taught, and inspired, daily.

I have learned several things this year:

I have learned to be content.
I have learned to choose my battles with the boys.
I have learned that each day is a new day.  Thank God!
I have learned that acquaintances come and go... but good friends keep showing up, even in the mundane.

My goals for the coming year:   1. Eat out less.   2. have empty squares on my calendar.

New Year's Eve

 I'm settled into bed at 10:40pm.
We spent a lovely evening with the neighbors. The kids did whatever while Lisa and I watched a chick flick.   (fine.  make fun of us.)
When we got home, the boys stayed up until 10pm, watching some kind of dinosaur show that was supposed to be blocked by my parental controls.  Not sure how it slipped through but I don't think they will be scarred. 

Lucas has been sweeter than honey today.  He says that he is "trying extra hard to be good" so that he can regain use of the Wii game that I confiscated on Christmas night.   I'm still not sure when the game will be reinstated, if ever.  I've explained that he should be trying "extra hard to be good" all of the time, in order for our lives to be a bit happier.   I'm still waiting for the message to sink in.

The boys are diving feet first back into chores for the new year.  I've got a nice little list on the fridge, (as I have done many times in the past).    But this time, I resolve to actually be consistent in my expectations of the boys.     I'm not into making resolutions... but I figure that if I make a big deal about a new year, and new responsibilities, perhaps they might actually take me seriously.    I've let them run all over me for too long.

I was shocked to realize that I return to work on Monday.    All along I thought that I started back on Tuesday.  Who would have thought that I'd be back for a teacher work day on Monday??   My trash doesn't get picked up on Monday,and I'm pretty sure that my mail won't be coming either... so it clearly doesn't make sense for me to go to work.    I was confused as I filled in my January calendar and realized that I  had to reserve grandparent kid-sitting for Monday through Wednesday.   My kids don't go back until Thursday!
Don't get me wrong... I love my job.... but I love sleeping late even more.

Wow.  2012.  I'm reading all kinds of blogs and facebook posts today about ringing in the new year. I've got nothing exciting to post.   I basically can't believe that 2012 will mark another number year without Thayer.
While writing dates onto my new calendar, I noted that 2012 would have been our 13th year of marriage.  And it would have been Thayer's 42nd year.   I can't imagine him being 42.  geez.
I'll be turning 35.  My kids will turn 12 and 10.   
Lucas is already planning for his big move away from home.  When he is "twenty", he is outta here.

Blink.

Hug your babies and Have a happy new year!

This song just popped into my head... and it's kinda, randomly, fitting as we mark the passage of time :)

2011

I've noticed a theme running around facebook and in the blogger world. Everyone has given up on making New Year's resolutions.
(Which is brilliant... because making resolutions has always seemed like a lousy idea to me).
These folks have decided to make "one word" that entails how they would like to envision the upcoming year.
My first thought was "gee... all of these organized people can throw it all together into one word. how convenient. What a great way to plan ahead". (sarcasm intended)

Being the sometimes grouchy person that I am, I thought back to when I wanted to plan everything. My pocket calendar was my world. I thought I had everything together and whatever I planned needed to happen, or else.
Then my husband died.
I no longer carry a pocket calendar.
And I only use the kitchen calendar so I'll remember where I need to be and who's keeping the kids.

So... when it comes to thinking of 'one word' for the upcoming year... I was stumped. How dare I make a prediction or a hope or a plan, of what, or who, I'd like to be. Or how I'd like to feel.
Life is too freakin' unpredictable.

Now that I've glanced through the "One Word" website it makes a little more sense. We are supposed to come up with who we'd like to be by the end of the year and pick a word that is a descriptive quality of that person.
If it's that easy....
I think my word will be 'skinny'.
or
how about 'irresistible'?

oh. I forgot... I'm already irresistible. ;)

But seriously. The closest I can come up with is:
"Appreciative"

As I've prayed with the boys the last few nights, my prayer has been that we will be 'appreciative' of all of God's provisions and blessings in the year to come.
We are overly blessed, even in the midst of loss. And I don't ever want to take these blessings for granted.

so, here's to 2011...

what's YOUR word?

wrapping it up...

We made it through another holiday season.
Christmas activities seemed to go smoothly.
Even with my desire to keep things simple, we managed to attend several Christmas events and stay rather busy this month.

Christmas day was fine.
The boys were treated to legos, Wii games, the Loopz game, stocking stuffers from Santa, Bey Blades and books and other goodies from family members. I'd say that they made a pretty good haul.
We enjoyed a brunch with the extended family and dinner with more extended family.



We had a day or so of recovery before we headed to SC to see Thayer's family. We enjoyed a nice visit with Thayer's grandmother, aunt and uncle. The boys also had some play time with semi-distant cousins.
Before heading home, yesterday, their uncle had made plans for Daniel and Lucas to do some rock climbing. They enjoyed about two hours of climbing! I'm continually amazed at how much energy these guys have!




I made the decision to forgo the new years parties this year. We needed a regular ol' evening at home to regroup. This season has been fun.... but overwhelming at times.
The boys were in bed by 8:30 and I was cuddled up and watching Netflix movie by 9.
I just finished watching Touching The Void. It was intense!
(thanks Lois for recommending it!)

Sweet dreams and Happy New Year!