Boundaries

I lost my cool today when the neighborhood kids wandered into my neighbors yard. The neighbors next door are an older couple who don’t necessarily want kids around. The couple had given my kids permission to ride their bikes in their paved driveway.
But…
It’s a blessing and a curse (probably more of a curse) that the other neighborhood kids follow my kids around like puppies. As soon as my kids step out of doors, the other kids appear as if they had been watching our doors with their binoculars. (I’ve even had to make a sign to keep them from knocking on our door during naptime!!)
So on several occasions the other kids have shown up and want to play in the driveway with my kids. (Keep in mind that one boy next door doesn’t know how to use a talking voice. Everything he says is a yell.) So everything results in a loud ruckus that I have to break up and send to my backyard.
This afternoon I asked my kids to stay in our yard with their friends but D came up to ride his bike. Another little girl followed and started meandering through the neighbor’s yard and disturbing the yard decorations. I immediately sent the kids back into our fence but the neighbor lady came out and had a few words with me. She voiced several “concerns” that I confirmed as well.
After that I was pretty ticked off, embarrassed by my own kids, and the neighbor kids and felt frustrated with our whole living arrangement.
I sat all the kids down and made a new rule that no one was allowed in the neighbors yard or driveway. I’m going to have to bust my rear to enforce this new rule, especially with my own kids, but I hope it becomes a quick habit for them.

I know you’re thinking that the neighbors yard is an obvious boundary that shouldn’t have been crossed but it just slowly happened… inch by inch until it became a larger problem. Everything was fine with my two kids but when the group is larger… it’s just too much.

I know you’re also thinking, “where are these kid’s parents?!”. I wonder the same thing.
I know that one set live next door and it’s fine for their kids to be over. But the other two live behind us somewhere. It’s amazing to me that they let the kids wander around!!
(I have an adult friend who has had similar situations in her neighborhood. She says that I need to look at it as a ministry. You never know what kind of impact you can have on a child’s life). So for now I can offer them a safe place to play and to be among friends.

Some days I really struggle with all of our new “friends” that come to play. I think as long as they stay in our yard I’ll be fine. I would much rather have my kids in my yard and know what they are doing. It’s a safe environment that I am happy to share with others as long as they behave. We already have certain rules that work well with the group. (ex: if anyone cries, fights, or whines… they have to go home). For the most part, everyone plays very well together and they have a good time.
I know that I should just chill and see how things go over the next few months. I think the process of making the boundaries and setting the rules will be the hardest part. We’ve never had to deal with groups like this before and I’m sure it’s preparing us for when our kids go to school and become more social beings. I know that problems with neighborhood kids will be low on our list as our kids get older. It’s just a stepping stone and a small problem-solving issue that will hopefully prepare us for future social encounters with our kids.

Whew.