Several days ago, I read this blog. I was impressed with how she explained the fluctuation of thoughts in such a simple moment. I know that everyone thinks alot, about alot of stuff. But I think that something has to be said for people who have suffered a severe loss and are learning to carry that loss with them into their new lives. I think that other widows would totally agree that our thoughts fly all over the place. And it happens ALL day long. That might explain why I seem so ditzy sometimes. ;)
I thought it would be fun to recap the thoughts I managed to have on my short ride home tonight from my sister's house.
Try to stay with me... i think it would be easy to get lost:
I pulled out of the driveway.
It's particularly bright tonight. Yep. It's a full moon. I remember the night that Thayer died. Full moons always remind me. I remember the time that I was driving home from a movie, and was super excited to tell Thayer about it.... until I remembered that he was dead. That sucked.
I get that sinking feeling and start to tear up.
I'd hate to cry and wreck my car in the process. I don't think I see that well at night and the tears might blur my vision. I miss him. I conjure up mental pictures of Thayer. How I miss his smile... and his hands, and his waist. Wish I could hug him.
I would like to hug (friend A), but that would be awkward for us both. I would just like a hug.
(acquantance B) is out of town.
My feet are cold. I remember warming my cold feet on Thayer's feet and legs. I'll need to take a hot bath tonight. I've started the ritual again. Every night, hot bath to warm my feet. Thayer used to do that too.
Can't wait to get under my feathers. I love my feather blanket and my new pillow. Ahhh... I'm going to sleep late tomorrow. I should blog. That was random. I should blog about how random I am. First... take a bath. Crap. I forgot to feed the cat his dinner. He'll be hungry. I'll Feed cat. Take a bath. Blog under my feathers. I love my feathers. :-)
(holy cow. I just realized that was the stupidest blog post I have ever written. I am completely random... and that other girl made alot more sense with her thoughts. Anywho. that's a typical few minutes in my head. And that says a little too much about how shallow I am. I feel really blonde) :)
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3 comments:
okay, i was totally caught up in the melancholy and practical mix of the post until your last statement then i laughed out loud. thanks for the laugh!!!
ps-i will have my exterior blondness back after next week's hair appointment--my inner blond has majority rule most days
i liked it :)
Wonderful post. So genuine. I can identify with it all...except the not feeding the cat...got a dog.
hahaha
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