The week prior to this trip, I was a little anxious because I just didn't know what to expect. And as the time drew nearer, I started to wonder about the actual process of "scattering". How were we supposed to do it? How can we pull it off- with a bunch of kids- without being totally irreverent?
I was fortunate enough to watch Elizabethtown on Thursday night....in the movie I watched the main character scatter his father's ashes..... and I realized that I was simply over-thinking the process of scattering.
So with my new chill attitude,we headed out on Friday morning. Our first stop was at the "20-Minute Cliff" overlook. We ate some sandwiches and debated on whether or not to scatter some of the ashes at that location. We realized that the wind was blowing in the wrong direction and there could be a pretty messy outcome.
We left the overlook and decided to toss some of the ashes alongside the road. I rolled down the window and let them fly.
(For those of you who are curious... and I know you are ;)... the ashes of cremated remains are white, basically fine in texture, with tiny pieces of bone fragments, and very soft... almost chalky feeling to the touch.
And yes, we scattered them by hand. When rinsed with water, the remnants are very slick and smooth. )
Moving along....
Our next stop was the White Rock Falls trail. We hiked in to a group of cliffs and proceeded to scatter the majority of Thayer's ashes at this spot. Thad read the following passage from the Common Book of Prayer:
In sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ, we commend to Almighty God our brother Thayer, and we commit his body to the ground; *earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. The Lord bless him and keep him, the Lord make his face to shine upon him and be gracious to him, the Lord lift up his countenance upon him and give him peace. Amen.
Then everyone had a turn grabbing handfuls of the ashes and scattering them to the wind. The kids really seemed to enjoy this part. And amazingly, we were all pretty composed. Nothing like the redneck-fest that I was afraid it could morph into.
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L scattering ashes at the White Rock Falls Trail On the way back up the trail, D spotted a snake along the path... which turned out to be a Timber Rattlesnake!!! That added some additional excitement to our day. Thad attempted to toss stones in it's direction hoping that it would head off of the trail and go about it's business but it insisted on coiling up on the trail and shaking it's rattler to scare us. Eventually, we had to go off of the path and travel around the snake in order to continue our day.
We scattered some ashes in a stream along the way as well.
Afterwards, we proceeded to drive down to Otter Creek and the kids enjoyed playing and swimming in the creek for the rest of the afternoon.
I've got to admit that it was a terrific day. We all had a great time, enjoying the mountains, and enjoying time with each other. And scattering Thayer's ashes was much more "relaxed" than I had anticipated. There was almost a relief in it. I know that Thayer would have enjoyed the day and I know that we did the best thing.... spending a beautiful day in the mountains, carrying out his wishes.
It was a GOOD day!! :-)
9 comments:
Jill, thanks for sharing this precious moment with us. Sounds like a day Thayer would have enjoyed! Thanks for continuing to make memories with your boys.
Jennifer
Jill-
What a beautiful picture and story! Thayer has such peace. I am so glad your day was peaceful as well! He is so proud of you Jill!
Love ya- SMc
Jill, I'm so happy you posted this on your facebook page. Somehow I lost your page!
It sounds like you had a very peaceful day. I'm glad for the relaxed feeling you got and the anxiousness fell away. The picture of L is amazing! I'm so happy you have that!
Take care!
when we scattered my grandfather's ashes, the wind blew them back in our faces, on our shoes, on the hood of my car. And what do you do when your daughter's shoes are covered in the remains of her grandfather? Do you just wipe that off? Isn't that disrespectful? But leaving him on the shoes is rather disrespectful as well, right?
a friend of mine passed away many years ago. her mother and brother tried to put her ashes in the sea, but they kept rolling back up on shore with every wave. the plastic bag that held the ashes eventually got loose and her brother had to swim after it in the ocean.
i think there is no way to plan for such things. i think there is no way to handle them. i think you just have to do the best you can, as a human, recognizing your fallibility and take each moment by the hand, going wherever you are led.
your photo is a beautiful metaphor gleaned from such a dark time. blessings to you and your family.
Jill,
What an awesome picture of Lucas
scattering Theyer's ashes!!! This has to be one of those "forever moments" and I pray that it's another big step for you all in the healing process. Have a wonderful time at the beach. Miss you!
The picture of L is beautiful. Thanks for sharing such a personal experience with us. You continue to amaze me with your strength and grace.
Thank you for sharing what is in your heart and your head and for being you. Never stop blogging.
that is such an awesome picture. i am glad that you had a special day.
Jill, that picture of L is fantastic. It captures the moment beautifully. Thank you for allowing us to be a part of that special moment for you and your family.
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