read anything lately?

I've been entirely too busy watching Netflix in my spare time.   Today I told a friend that once I'm finished with the Veronica Mars series that I might actually have to read a book.   I haven't picked up a book in months.  I've had intentions to read.... but not really.  well, really... not at all.

To my surprise the cutsie UPS man dropped off a package from Amazon.com today.  It was a book that I ordered months ago, that was just recently released.  
Two Kisses For Maddy by Matt Logelin.  
Matt is a contributing author on a widow blog that I read daily.  He also has his own blog and there is a foundation which holds his wife's name... but I haven't dug too deeply yet.

Now this will be a book I will read.   I seem drawn to personal stories of life and death,  heartbreak and joy.  Perhaps because I can relate... and perhaps because I am encouraged to see how others have  muddled their way through tragedy and have survived to tell the tale.

I've read the first three chapters already.  And I was thrilled to see that the first sentence in the forward reads, "I am not a writer".  I love it when ordinary people, who experience the unimaginable are able to express themselves through writing.   
I always felt contentment when I could express myself through my blog, better than I could vocalize. 
And therefore, I'm excited that this dude could write a book and let us into his world, if only for a brief moment.  I know that his story is powerful... and I'm anxious to see how he shares it.

anywho.  off to watch some Netflix... and maybe read a bit afterward ;)

slacker

I miss blogging.    I did it so frequently while I was in Africa.  I feel like I had so much to say.

Yet here I am.... recovering from a weekend of nothingness.   I watched Netflix and napped.   I felt like I was enjoying some type of guilty pleasure.   It was marvelous.

The house had been cleaned because I had some friends over on Friday night.   
My laziness was enabled because chores had already been done, Aunt Flo came to visit and brought my cousin Al along (Allergies) ;)   The two of them made my couch look pretty nifty for a day or two.   I was content in my environment and happy to have some free time.

Today, as I slapped myself back to life, I noticed that it took less than 8 hours for everything to fall apart again.  The clutter has accumulated in the kitchen, there is folded laundry on the couch.  (notice that it has atleast been folded!)  
Apparently you have to keep on top of the chores in order for things to remain tidy.  huh.

It always goes back to my environment.  Always.

We went skating tonight and I had a few alone moments where I thought about Thayer.    Wondering how things would be if he were still here. 

Wonder what my environment would be like if he were still here?  I wonder if he would have taken care of the ants that I massacred in Lucas' room tonight?  ick.

And I'm wondering why I'm typing out all of these random thoughts when I should be going to bed.  
I've been making a habit of late nights and early mornings.
Only 8 more weeks left of school. 
Then I can make a habit of late nights and late mornings.  That sounds way cooler :)

night night!

the choices we make

I probably should have stopped and spoken to her.

I saw her on the corner yesterday.   She was young.  She was holding a sign that explained her situation.
 homeless, broke, just left her husband.
There was more... I remember it was kind and tactful.   But I couldn't get past the part about being homeless and husband-less.

My first thought was 'wow... I've never seen a chick with a sign like that.... I wonder if she is legit'.
I wondered if she was just hoping to get some cash for drugs or alcohol.  
Then I felt shameful for judging so quickly.
I didn't know her situation.    What if her sign was truthful?   What if she really needed help?

I thought about what events would actually put a person in the position of writing for help on a piece of cardboard ,and standing on a street corner.      What was she feeling as she stood there... knowing that people like me would drive by... judging her?   I can imagine that it was humiliating.

I had, for a brief second, the thought of stopping to hear her story.   But my selfishness overruled and I drove by. 
Not my finest moment, for sure.

Then I wondered if I could ever be in the same predicament.
What if I were unable to pay the bills after thayer died?  What if I lost my home?  What if I didn't have family in town?   
I have been beyond blessed through all of my circumstances.... but what if things had turned out differently?  Could that be me on the street corner?

Even today, the thought of her bothers me.
I keep wondering what set of choices she made to end up on a street corner.

Thayer always used to preach about how situations come about because of the choices that are made.    His father is in prison...not necessarily because he committed the crime...but because he made a series of poor choices that ultimately put him in a crappy situation.

I like to tell my kids that they need to make good choices.  And I've explained to them about being 'guilty by association'.   Who you choose to hang out with... matters.     The actions that you take... matter.  The choices you make... matter.

So... back to the girl.   I'm doubting that she ended up on that corner in a jiffy.    I would think it was a snowball of choices that dropped her off at that spot.

But doesn't she deserve another chance?  or would she blow it again?
The judgemental me thinks that she should have planned ahead and gotten a job or something before she left her husband. 
(but what if he was abusive and she had to leave quickly?)  
Aren't there battered women's shelters to run to?
Could she have been applying for jobs instead of begging on the corner?  
(Or are homeless people unable to apply for jobs because they don't have an address?) hmmm... good question.
What about the homeless shelter?  What about the soup kitchen?  Aren't there resources for people who are down and out?

yeah.   Me?   What could I have done?

I probably should have stopped and spoken to her.

it has begun

My eldest started baseball today.   First time. ever. Initially, I was freaked out by the practice times.... like practices starting on school nights when my kids are usually going to bed.  That's just ridiculous.

Today's practice started at 5:30pm.   (This was after I picked up the boys from school at 5pm.... and after a school day that started at 7:40am.   Thursdays are packed full of fun stuff and I'm hoping that they can handle the activities of an over packed day.)

Daniel is very excited about playing.  He is on a team with two of his friends... and the others look like cool kids as well.   I'm hoping he will form neat friendships this season.

The idea of baseball started to grow on me as I watched them practice.   The coaches seem to be good guys and I know that Daniel will benefit from the maleness of it all.    He seemed to be enjoying himself and I'm sure that he will catch on quickly.  From what I witnessed... he did pretty well for his first day.  I am super proud :)

Our family friend, Patrick, (whose son is on the team), helped out with the practice today and spent some time tossing the ball with Daniel.   I was thankful that Patrick was there :-)  

And I only cried a little as I watched the two of them.... and got that sinking feeling that "Thayer should be here". 
I wasn't expecting to cry in the bleachers... and I think my sunglasses blocked the other people from noticing.  
I pulled myself together for fear of being known as 'that mom who was crying on the first day of practice'.
I can't be a flake now.   This baseball stuff seems pretty serious.

Practice was over at 7:30pm and the boys only cried briefly, out of exhaustion, on the way home.   I had the calm mother talk about.... "yeah, it's late and you're tired... but you've got to hold it together...."
We were home by 8pm with Burgers provided by the King.   Showers and homework quickly followed.  

I'm banking on the thought that we'll get used to the schedule... and that Daniel will have a blast :-)

ants

We've had random ants in the bathroom for a few weeks now. As you may recall, I have a complete and utter hatred, and hyperactive  mild phobia, of ants.
I have considered myself brave... because I have simply been squishing and flushing. I keep telling myself that I am bigger than the ants and that I will win.

But secretly, I feel the terror creeping in as I contemplate the thought that my house is probably invaded with ants. I can imagine them, millions of them.... living in the foundation of the house. I'm pretty sure that the largest colony of ants, in the city, has taken up residence within my walls.... and they are ready to flow out of the cracks and crevices at any moment.
yep. pretty sure of it.


Therefore... I think... before spring officially hits... I might actually call an exterminator. I can't let my spring and summer be ruined by the thoughts of the colony and their attack plan.

I am bigger. and I will win.

yay!

It just really hit me! I am going away for the weekend!
I'll be going to a 'scrapbooking' retreat at the beach... today!
I'll need to make it through a few hours at work and then my sis and I will hit the road.

I love road trips!!

I know that you must be thinking.... "Jill is a punk. She just got back from Africa, and she's taking another vacation?!"
I know, it's absurd. But in reality, Africa wasn't an actual 'vacation'. And the more I think about it... I am SUPER excited to have a weekend away to do absolutely nothing! No stress and no schedule. super cool.

I plan to get my Uganda scrapbook done and sent away for printing. (I do digital books now) :)
I also plan to continue the 'Twilight' marathon that we started at the fall retreat. I'm looking forward to mindless entertainment.
And I'm looking forward to hanging out and catching up with some of the girls.

I've got my iPod stocked and ready if I decide to get off of the couch and walk the beach.

ahhhh... I can almost taste the salt air :D

my former life

I just had an amazing day with my friends in C-ville. (well technically R-ville...)
We went up to celebrate Stephen's 40th birthday. We were fortunate to be invited to lunch with their family and then we attended a Chili Cookoff that they were hosting for an ABRO fundraiser.
I love spending time with these folks!

I hadn't thought about it beforehand... but was pleasantly surprised to see tons of familiar faces at the ABRO event. Many of the folks from our C-ville church were involved with the events... and even Kent, who traveled to Uganda with me, was there!

So... the C-ville church people.
I may have seen some of them when I visited the church sometime after Thayer's death. And I probably saw a handful of them at Thayer's memorial service. But otherwise... these were people who I haven't seen since before Thayer's death. I was laying eyes on people who knew Thayer. Who had spent time with him. People who knew us 'back in the day'.
And it feels like a lifetime ago. A different life, a different time.
It's hard to imagine what life used to be like.
And when I start to think about that life, I mourn. again.
Mostly for my boys... because I remember things used to be much happier for them. stable. predictable.

My moments of grief remind me that I'm ultimately just a mess. But a mess that has been drenched by God's Grace.
And I'm still clinging to His promise of a future.

the awakening

Spring has started to spring. Atleast in my head.

I took a walk today... for the first time in a zillion days. I started to feel the hibernation sloughing off.
I need to get back into the habit of walking. I need to regain some movement and balance so I don't curse at myself in kickboxing class.
I need to think about dropping all of the pounds that accumulated and settled in for the winter.
(Well... before winter... but who's keeping track?)

I came home and decided it would be a good idea to take the Christmas wreath off of the front door. (i know, i know...it's shameful.)
I also put away the few winter and valentine decorations that I had out.

The other day, I was bantering with a co-worker about the fact that she was switching out her decorations and seasonal dishes.
I can vaguely recall a time when I was organized enough to have 'seasonal' items and decorations.
After Thayer died, I think I became a minimalist in the area of home decor. I am not much for clutter and I only have one shelf in my kitchen to display the few holiday knick knacks that I've kept.
The shelf is empty right now because I think it's too early to dig out the Easter stuff.

all of that to say... I'm switching to spring.
I want to get organized and active. The Christmas wreath is put away and I'm ready for a change.
:-)

holy cow! they were right!

It has hit. The re-entry blues.
I had heard rumor... that it was a possibility to be a bit depressed upon re-entry from a trip... such as my Uganda trip. I think I even heard that it happened about a week after returning home.

Really?
yup.

Tonight, I was tempted to drop my kids off on a street corner and drive away. And not really sure if I would circle the block or just keep driving.

The boys had a friend over today and I thought I'd be a great mom and take them all to the movies tonight. We went to see Megamind,again. I SO love this movie! :-)

Sadly, as a culmination of several irritating moments, my boys have earned the entire afternoon in their rooms tomorrow.

I'm starting to think that my two weeks away just gave me a taste of freedom. And here I am, back in the thick of it. And it's alot to swallow.
I know this is my reality. And I love my kids.
But nights like tonight throw me back into my angry thoughts of 'why did thayer leave me here with these kids!?' I know it wasn't his choice... but I like to have someone to blame for my parenting struggles, ya know?

anywho.
just had to get that out.
Tomorrow is a new day.
and I am fine :)

hopeful dreams

The fog of jet lag has lifted. And I must say that it was way worse than expected. I had no idea what to expect... and it really kicked my butt.

anywho.
I'm back in business today. Errands have been run, laundry has been done, bills have been paid.
I'm assuming I still have a few days until the bathroom actually needs to be cleaned.

I have been dreaming about Africa every night. And then I wake in the comfort of my American home.
During the day, I dream about how, and when, I can go back. I wonder what my purpose would be there... in the future. I get excited when I think about what God may have in store.

In the meantime, I have been re-energized with my parenting. After witnessing the precious Ugandan children... care for babies, carry water and work.... I've decided to tighten up around my house. I've decided to expect more from my kids. American kids, especially mine, are more capable of doing than we think.

My boys are pretty tired of hearing about those African kids. In the midst of one of my "there are starving kids in Africa" speeches, Lucas said "I wish you had never gone to Africa."
Meaning... he was disappointed with the rules that I am about to impose around here. haha

On an exciting note, Daniel has decided that he would like to go with me next time. This is huge! Just a few months ago, both boys had NO interest in such a trip because of the immunizations involved. So I am thrilled to have one more family member on board.
I'm pretty sure that Lucas will fall in line as he matures a bit.
I have always had plans to travel with my boys when they became teenagers... and it's exciting to know that the time is approaching! :-)

I feel like we've got the world at our fingertips. And I'm anxious to explore with my boys.

Now... if I could just figure out how to book a flight online... we'll have it made. lol

home again, home again, jiggity jig

Friday, February 18th (11pm EST)

Whew! I'm home! From the guesthouse to my home.... approximately 42 hours of travel.

We left the guesthouse thursday morning and headed to Kampala.
Kampala was a Cr-a-z-y place. We made a few time-killer stops in Kampala and then headed to Entebbe.
We got to the airport waaaayyyy too early and had to wait in a hot, stuffy area before check-in. Went through security with all of our bags- THREE times. I was so glad to grab a shower at the airport before we hit the plane.

Dramamine is my new best friend. I was awake for the layover in London, and for lunch on the second flight. Otherwise... I slept through both flights! yay! I think that's quite an accomplishment :)

I'm glad to be home with my kids.

My friend posted this quote on my Facebook page...

There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered- Nelson Mandela

I love it!! I'm hoping that as I adjust to being home that I don't forget what I have learned...and how this trip has changed me...

Wednesday, February 16th

A free day.

I went with a small group of people to see Bujagali Falls. It was neat to hang out beside the Nile river -- how often do you get to do that? The others thought it would be neat to have the opportunity to put their feet in the Nile.... but I thought that standing next to it was good enough :)

We headed back to the guesthouse and I was determined to order pizza for lunch. I recruited a few partners and enjoyed a pepperoni pizza and a Coke. ( I've been craving Papa Johns all week! )

After lunch we set off to buy a few soveneirs. We shopped most of the afternoon and made it back in time for dinner, and to pack our bags for stow.

Sadly, Andrew didn't fit into my stow bag! So he'll be staying in Uganda afterall. :(
He came by the guesthouse tonight and chatted with me for quite a while. It has been so great to get to know him and learn more about Uganda. I'm planning to keep in touch.

Tomorrow we hit the road toward Entebbe. We'll be passing through the capital city of Kampala. The Ugandan's are preparing for the presidential election on Saturday.
If the political atmosphere is calm in Kampala, we plan to make a few stops in the city.
Our plane is scheduled to depart on Friday around 12:30am (thurs. 4:30pm EST)

Looks as though we are homeward bound! Please pray for safe travels. thanks :)
I'll post again once I'm settled at home :)

Tuesday, February 15th

Our destination....1.5 hours away. Miles and miles down a really dusty dirt road. We were covered in dust when we arrived. It was a shorter day,( because of the distance), but we still managed to fit 97 people for glasses. whew!



We came back to Jinja and had a brief 'tea' for the Ugandan team members. Those folks have been amazing.

Our time here is drawing to a close. I'm excited to get back home and see my boys... but I'm also hesitant to leave such a neat place. I am hopeful that God will allow me to return in the near-ish future!

Monday, February 14th

Happy Valetines Day :-)



Today we drove to a village about 40 minutes away. The medical clinic was packed. I think they saw over 500 patients. We fitted 67 for glasses.

I had a blast today with my two favorite Ugandans. Reagan and Andrew attempted to teach us a few Ugandan words. I'm learning that within Uganda, there are many languages.... that vary by tribe or region. I have been pretty impressed with how well the interpreters can communicate.... and even seem to understand most of what we say. Considering how I butcher the english language, it's been fun.... and we've laughed alot.



It was a hot, dusty day. Uganda is probably the most beautiful place I've seen... as well as the dustiest. Today's view was amazing. We could see rolling plains in the distance... a bit more like what you imagine of Africa. The shades of green and the amazing texture of the landscape continue to captivate me.

Tomorrow will be the last clinic. Wednesday is a free day! I'm hoping to do some sight seeing and get some shopping done before we leave on thursday morning....

Sunday, February 13th

Today we went to local churches. I was in a group of 7 that ended up about an hour away, at one of the churches that we went to earlier this week.
It was a nice experience. We introduced ourselves to the congregation. They sang a beautiful song and then Anthony (who was with our group), who is from Kenya, gave a brief, put powerful message. It was rather neat to hear a Kenyan , speaking n English, being interpreted into the Ugandan's language.
We then prayed for the country of Uganda as they approach their presidential elections. We were only there a short time because we needed to head back to town and pick up the other groups.

anywho.
after that, we went to the Mission Link office, where several of the widows had come to learn how to crochet plastic bags into sitting/sleeping mats. I tied strips of plastic bag together until I was sick of it.

Tonight was PIZZA night! I just ate too much and I'm thinking about heading to bed early tonight.

Tomorrow, we are back to the clinics!

Saturday, February 12th

Today we set up for the clinic at Jinja Hill Church. The church is positioned right in the middle of a hill where you can see the countryside surrounding it on all sides. The most beautiful, textured backdrop all around. It was a beautiful, sunny,hot, blustery day.

I have loved seeing the various shades of green, the many types of plants and trees. There are pine trees, eucalyptus trees, all types of fruit trees,etc.

Speaking of the vegetation.... I have been able to eat fresh pineapples,bananas, mangos (yuk),papaya (yuk), jackfruit (triple yuk), passion fruit and sugar cane. We have fresh squeezed juice each day as well. :)

anywho. As for the day.... we were able to bless 94 people with glasses today. That was fun.

I also had the opportunity to meet another group of widows today. I introduced myself again and told my story. I wasn't as nervous this time... but I'm still not sure what the heck I said.
We meet with another group tomorrow afternoon.

In the morning, we will divide into groups of 3, or so, and be dropped off at various churches in the area. I'm excited to worship and pray with the local folks. Should be a fun time.

Friday, February 11th

Each morning and evening we hear a message from an African preacher. What a rare and exciting priviledge to be looking out over Lake Victoria, a world away from the states, and hearing God's promises proclaimed by these men.

I sit here and think about the journey that has brought me here... the long and painful journey... and yet I am SO thankful. Ten years ago, a trip to Africa would have never crossed my mind. But, here I am in this beatiful country surrounded by beautiful people. What a blessing.

I'm loving every minute!

This morning, we went to another village and I helped with the glasses again. I am enoying the process of picking out the correct pair... and get an extra thrill when the glasses make the folks look hip :) I know it's not a fashion show.... but I want these folks to look good... especically the younger guys and gals.

I'm having a blast with my partners- Kandra, Glassell and Andrew. I'm enjoying the relationships that I am building. That is such an important part of this trip for me. I'm making new friends and I'm happy to share this experience with them. The entire team is great!

Tonight, we are sitting out on the porch and singing. Good times.

btw.. we eat all of our meals outside. It's like a tropical resort.
oh yeah, it is one :) hehe

Thursday, February 10th

We headed out to another village today. It was tucked back in fields of coffee and sugar cane.
It has been neat to see the crowds that have gathered in anticipation of the clinic. The medical team has been treating several hundred folks each day.

I was excited to work with the glasses again today. It was kind of a slow day... we only fitted 33 with glasses... but smiles like this that make it all worthwhile. This lady was SO excited to be able to see again! :-)


I also had the opportunity to share my story with the widows group. I think I was terrified... and I don't remember what I said... but everyone keeps saying that I did well. I just pray that God sent whatever message of encouragement that someone needed to hear.
I was sure to share my verse with them. (Jeremiah 29:11)

The Ugandan widows were encouraged to share their own stories as well. Many of the women boldly spoke of their situations. I was encouraged to see their faith and their love of God. I could see how God has been working amongst them. And I noticed the ache that they had when they talked about "digging" (harvesting crops) to provide school tuition for their children, and for basic survival. They said that "digging" has not been productive and that they are struggling.

The last woman to share was a quiet young lady who had been sitting next to me (with baby in tow). She stood and said that her situation was much like my own. Her husband had gone out one morning and was killed by a car. She was left with three children.
She was most likely the youngest woman in the group and I felt a need to talk with her one-on-one. I hunted her down from the crowd and had my interpreter ask her a few more questions.

Her name is Ida. She is 38 years old. When her husband died, her brother-in-law supported her. But when she refused to marry him, he stopped his support. She says that she currently has no way to earn money for the family.
My heart goes out to her... and all of the ladies that I saw today. It is clear that these African widows are struggling. It's a tragedy. I am anxious to join with Mission Link as they attempt to love and encourage these women.


On a side note. For those of you who teased about me coming home with an African husband...
This is Andrew. He's my interpreter. And I'm bringing him home with me.
;)

Wednesday, February 9th

Another great day. We drove to a village an hour away from Jinja. It was a bumby ride.... miles and miles down a dirt road. The village was beautiful.

I have decided that when they show 'Africa' on TV... that they may be showing the worst case scenario. (true... I've only seen two communities so far... and I shouldn't judge all of Africa from these observations. I'm sure that it could be worse) But from what I've seen... I agree.... these people do live in poverty and many are in poor health. But I have been amazed at the self sufficiency of these folks.

They gather in communities and survive off of the land.
They have homes. Some homes made of mud and dung, and others made of brick. Today's village had mud homes and cooking huts in each 'yard'.


There were coffee plants (do you call them plants? bushes? trees?) There were fields of sugar cane and fruit trees galore. the fresh fruit available is just amazing!! We have nothing like it in the states. There are chickens and goats everywhere.

anywho. My thoughts today focused on the fact that we as Americans have SO much. Do we consider these people 'poor' because of their lack of material possessions? Are they 'poor' because they don't have running water or electricity?
I wonder if they would call themselves 'poor'?
They are living , and surviving, in the only way that they have known. They don't know any different. They are working in the fields, drawing water from the wells, and nursing their babies. Could it be US that has the problem with their condition?

again. anywho. I'm just thinking.

Today, I worked with the glasses again. It's a pleasure to hand someone a pair of glasses and see a bright smile when the person is able to see clearly again.

but. here's the deal. I was just informed that I will be speaking to a group of widows tomorrow. huh? I don't remember that being part of the deal. Yes, I wanted to go and talk to widows... but no one ever mentioned a GROUP of widows. Approximately 50. That should be interesting. I've decided NOT to prepare for this 'talk' because thinking about it will freak me out. So... I'm not going to think about it. I've decided to pray that God will give me the words to say. My plan is to just speak... and whatever bumbling mess falls out... that'll be it. No one can be expecting too much because I am not a public speaker. And as most of you know... I'm not a personal speaker either. I can't even speak clear sentences! (scott... you are probably laughing right now)

I'll let you know how it goes!

Tuesday, February 8th

Today was our first full day out with the Ugandan people. We ate breakfast at 6:45 and began our day out at 8:45.

To tell you the truth, I still had no idea what I'd be doing when we got started. The medical group knew their mission, the constrution folks took off for their worksite, the preacher knew his agenda.... and then there was me. (and luckily one other gal...) that didn't know what to do.

We arrived at a church where the medical clinic would take place. Everyone set up their areas. I tagged along with a gal that was going to do a 'vacation Bible school' with the children.
I had started hanging out with a few of the young girls and I was abruptly told that we needed to go door to door and tell people to come to the clinic. This was NOT my thing. I don't think too highly of bugging people in their homes. I tagged along but did not participate like my team mates would have liked.

After that...( which I must say... it was super neat to see the homes in this particular area), we went back to the church and hung out with the kids some more.
I am learning that Ugandan time is WAY more laid back than America. It's quite a refreshing change.

The 'Bible school' started in the afternoon. The leader shared the gospel with the kids, gave out those 'salvation bracelets', suckers and stickers. I'm pretty sure that the kids showed up for the "sweets". :) They were all adorable and very attentive. (probably had alot to do with our white skin... and oh yeah, the "sweets".)

But anywho. I don't want to sound too grouchy about the 'evangelism' aspect of it all. That is all well and good. It's just not me.

After the time with the kids, I found my way inside and helped out with the folks who were 'fitting' people for glasses. I think that was a fun way to spend the afternoon, and I think it is something I would like to do again tomorrow.

I think the highlight of my day was hanging out with our new interpreter friends. I asked all kinds of 'dumb white girl questions' about Uganda. I learned all about fresh fruit, families, names, what people transported on their bikes, what kinds of schools the kids go to, etc. etc. I really enjoyed learning more about the Uganda, the environment and it's people.

The Ugandan people are beautiful. That's the best way to describe them. Very friendly. Very hand-shaky. Special, and lingering, handshakes are the norm. Very welcoming. And pretty good looking as well. (hehe) (those of you who joked about me bringing back a husband... better watch out!) ;)

(I'm taking pictures, and plan to post a few here and more on FB when the time allows.)