goodbye summer. hello routine.

Wow.  Where have we been?!

The boys just started their third week of school!  

I went back to work last week, and my preschoolers came to their first day of Pre-K today.    It looks like lady Elaine and I have an awesome class this year!   

Rewind to Sunday August 17th.  
I received a phone call from my Brother-in-law, Thad, to say that he was IN TOWN and wanted to surprise my boys.    This was huge.    He showed up at 6:30am on Monday morning and woke them up for their first day of school!   A great surprise.

It turns out that Thad was in town for several days.    It seemed like it would be a long visit.... but it was over way too quickly.    The boys enjoyed some much needed time with their uncle.

  On  Wednesday Thad and I hiked back to the spot where we had scattered Thayer's ashes.    Great day, beautiful mountains.

That week, we also went out to eat with my family for (what would have been) Thayer's 44th birthday.   Not much pomp and circumstance this year.

At the end of the week we said our goodbyes to Thad and I delivered my kids to Comfort Zone Camp.
Daniel wasn't too keen on attending this year.... but by the time I picked them up on Sunday, both boys were ready to get signed up for next year's camp!    I am so thankful for CZC and the safe environment that they provide for kids like mine!!

While the boys were at camp, I enjoyed a great weekend catching up with my friends in Richmond.

Then.... it was back to reality for all three of us as we started back to school and work on the following Monday.

We are getting back into the routine of things.   And would you believe that my boys put themselves to bed by 9pm each night?!     And I'm not usually far behind.  
I've had some sweet dreams the last few weeks.

challenge

I was recently challenged to do the Ice Bucket Challenge for ALS Association.   And I've decided to refrain from the obligatory soaking of ice water.
But I am all about donating!
I decided to pretend that I did the bucket dumping and I DID donate $10 for ALS research.   And I challenge you to do the same.

***Click here to donate to the ALS Association!***

And since I didn't actually complete the challenge I decided to donate $100 as well.   BUT I decided to donate to two charities that are on my heart this month.

Some folks would say to donate quietly and move along.   But I've read several convicting blogs that encourage people to donate and make a big fuss about it... in order to encourage others.

So I'll go ahead and make a big fuss about it.

My kids are fresh home from a weekend at Comfort Zone Camp.   This camp experience has been amazing for my boys.   They have attended five camps over the past six years.    And each year they are anxious to get back  (Well... Daniel needed some prodding this year... but he came home ready to sign up for next year!)
Comfort Zone Camp has provided a safe place for my boys to simply be themselves among other people who 'get it'.   It's a great place to connect with other kids and talk about life and loss.
I can't say enough about this organization.    Just know that CZC is great.    And it's FREE to participants!!  I challenge you to make camp possible for more kids like mine.

***Click here to donate to Comfort Zone Camp!***

I also figured that this post would be a great way to kick off my fundraising efforts for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.
On October 25th, I will be participating in the  "Out of the Darkness Community Walk" in Roanoke.
This walk raises awareness of depression and suicide, as well as comforts those who have lost a loved one to suicide.    I am raising money to help support the AFSP raise money for research and education programs to prevent suicide and save lives.
I challenge you to donate to the AFSP, and help me reach (or surpass) the goal I have set for the walk.

Click here to donate to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention through my fundraising page!

So.  There you have it.
No wet t-shirts and no mess.  But...Donations are made.
And you'll probably be hearing more over the next few months while I give big pushes for these organizations.
:)

in the Zone

My kids have another weekend at Comfort Zone Camp under their belt.  I think this was camp number four.   Each year, while we are driving home from the weekend, or unpacking the car, the kids will say "when can we sign up for next year?"  They are READY to go back.

This past year, Lucas must have asked me two or three times each month about how many more months, or weeks, until camp.   He waited all year to go back to his favorite camp location that has a lake, so that he could canoe and kayak.  For the last few weeks that was all that he could talk about.   
I dropped the boys off at camp on Thursday afternoon and they were thrilled to see that the lake had a big pillow trampoline thing in it.  They were SO excited.

I left them with their excitement and went to visit some friends for the weekend.  (yay me!)
On Saturday morning I woke up to RAIN.  ALL day RAIN.   I prayed that the boys would have been able to hit the lake on Friday.... but nope.   They didn't hit the lake at all.  Saturday was supposed to be the lake day.... and it RAINED.   Both boys were bummed out about that when I picked them up.
Lucas was quick to note that he would have to wait another YEAR!  
If anything, this weekend reinforced how life is full of unexpected disappointments.

But overall, it seemed like they had a great weekend. 
(Except for Lucas saying "that was the worst weekend ever because we didn't get to go to the lake".)    hah.

Each year, the Comfort Zone staff matches each camper (little buddy) with an adult (big buddy).   And each year, my boys have been matched really well with their big buddy.   I could go on and on about how thankful I am for the many volunteers who make these camps happen.  Each big buddy donates their time.... their entire weekend.... to hang out with some strange kid.     As a parent, I consider this a huge blessing.  
This year Lucas has announced that he was paired with the "Best Big ever." 
The reason??  Simply because his big buddy didn't go and hang out with other people.  Lucas noted that his big buddy stayed with him the entire weekend.   And he was glad to have that personal attention.

I was tickled when Lucas mentioned this because his big buddy indicated that Lucas kept wandering off.
 haha
It's interesting how the two perceived the weekend.

Upon checking them out, Daniel went on and on and on about the amazing "Zone Games" that occurred on Friday.
He says that "it was like a field day x 20".   
He went into details about all of the teams, the festiveness and the games. Both boys really enjoyed the Zone Games and were able to tell me about the games in which they were competitors.

As for grief work...
Turns out that neither of my boys shared their stories or talked about their Dad this weekend.  In the past, they have shared a bit more... but this year, they both said that they didn't really have anything to talk about.   
So... we may wonder, "why send them to a camp for grieving kids if they don't even want to talk about their Dad?"
I say that it's because I want them to be a part of a community who 'gets it'. 
I want them to hear other stories that they can relate to, atleast in some small way. 
I want them to notice what grief looks like at different ages and stages throughout their pre-teen and teenage years.   
The counselors say that grief looks different to kids at different ages. 
I want my boys to be able to internalize some of that and realize that they will struggle with different aspects of their Dad's absence through the many milestones that lie ahead. 
I know that these camps are good for them.  :-)

Both boys have declared that they would like to be Big Buddies down the road.    Who knows what the future may hold for them or how they will be able to help children, just like them, in the future?
My heart swells.

Can't wait till next year.

weekend

I just had a wonderful kid-free weekend!  I spent time with some great gals, went to an afternoon movie, enjoyed an outdoor movie night, had wonderful conversation with a friend, and enjoyed road trippin' by myself for lots of hours.

My boys, on the otherhand, had a wonderful mom-free time at Comfort Zone Camp.  A weekend FULL of activity.  Physically and emotionally draining.  They can't stop talking about it... and I am thrilled!
I think that this has been their best camp experience yet!     Their big buddies were PERFECT (as I had expected).

I sat in the memorial service and cried as I listened to campers simply state who they were remembering.  Child after child stating, "in memory of my Dad", "in memory of my Mom", "in memory of my Mom.. and sister ...and brother".
crap.  what a shame that there has to be a camp for this type of thing.
I didn't even want to imagine what event would have caused the death of a mom, sister AND brother.

Daniel and Lucas participated in "healing circles" throughout the weekend.  These smaller group of kids (probably between 8-10) had the opportunity to share their 'story'. 
 I know that my kids were exposed to tragic stories... that make our 'story' a walk in the park.
Daniel was in a group of all boys who had lost a father.  :(  He made quick friends with a boy who shared details of a murder attempt and suicide.
 What a shame for these kids.
None of these campers live in a bubble, that's for sure.   
These kids have learned, early on, that life isn't fair.  
I am glad that myself and others have sought out the resources, like CZC, to help our kids cope with the realities of this world.

Lucas was ready to go back to camp right after we left the parking lot.    They are already looking forward to next year!   :-)

camp

My boys will be heading to Comfort Zone Camp this weekend.  Lucas is so excited that he hasn't been able to sleep this week.  Tonight, he quickly got in bed and insisted that he wanted to get to sleep faster so that tomorrow would come faster, and then Friday.    

At camp, each child is paired with a "Big Buddy" who hangs out with them all weekend.   The Big Buddies/ Little Buddies are matched together based on the information that we included on the camp application.    And I'm happy to say that each year, my boys have been matched with someone perfect for their individual personalities.

So far, Daniel's big buddy has called to introduce himself. 
And Lucas wonders who his big buddy will be. 
 Last year, the same thing happened. 
It occured to me that Daniel gets matched with someone SO similar to his personality.... someone who is a rule follower.    Someone who will make that 'recommended' phone call.
And Lucas gets matched perfectly with someone like himself.   A fun loving, crazy guy who has probably forgotten to call  OR has been too busy rock climbing, out of cell phone range, to make the call.
Either way, Lucas has been excited to find out who his big buddy is.

 I am already SO thankful for their Big Buddies!  These people volunteer a FULL weekend of their time to hang out with MY kids!  It's exhausting for them and yet they are blessing my kids in so many ways.   SO many ways.

I've said it before... but my Dad expressed it again today...  it's a shame that my kids have the opportunity to go to camp... because their Dad died.  
They don't get to go to a regular ol' camp.  It's a camp where every participant will be remembering someone who has died.   
They will hear stories of accidents, sickness, suicides, murder.
It's a terrible thing. 
But yet it's a good thing.  I know that my boys will find the support and community that they can't find in our neighborhood, in their school, or even in our home.   I'm excited that they will be around other kids who 'get it'.

consider supporting this great organization!

in the media...

Check out Comfort Zone Camp on the Today Show...!