my idol?

I recently started gathering with a group of ladies every other week to do some Bible study.   We are starting out with a study guide: Get Out of Your Head, A Study in Philippians by Jennie Allen.

Interestingly enough, this study has encouraged me to get IN to my head a bit.  It has challenged me to consider what I actually THINK about; what I hold in the forefront of my thoughts.  I have uncovered that my most prevalent thought/emotion is Anticipation.   Not worry, or fear.... just anticipation of things to come.... mostly all of the good things.   I get caught up in planning and looking forward to certain events or occasions.
While that, in itself, is not a "bad" thing, I know that always looking ahead isn't the best way to spend my time.   I want to learn to be in the moment and to enjoy what each day brings.

When Thayer died, I learned rather abruptly that plans can change so quickly.   I remember throwing away my planner after Thayer died.    I had a tough relationship with paper calendars for quite a while after his death.   Here I am, over 14 years later tethered to my planning and my calendar.     
I won't deny it.... I am a planner through and through.   I have said many times that if I don't plan something, it doesn't happen.   
I've realized that this probably classifies me as a control freak.  eek.
I'm starting to grasp that my over-planning might not always be the best thing.   

God says, Be still and know that I am God (Psalm46:10).   

Do I take the time to be still and rest in His presence? Am I putting my full calendar squares and busyness ahead of my relationship with God?   
Is over-planning my idol?!  

Whew. Idols.
Jennie Allen made a bold statement in the video that accompanies our study:

  "We need to hate the things we love more than God."

This statement reminded me of Luke 14:26: 

If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.  (ESV)

The mention of this verse pretty much derailed our little study group.   Everyone agreed that "hate" was such a strong word!  The thought of "hating" our family was awful to consider.   
I found a nice article that explains this verse a little more in context:  PLEASE READ HERE.

In short, Jesus' command requires us to prioritize our relationship with Him above all other relationships.  We are to prioritize our relationship with Him over everyone and everything!

You shall have no other gods before me.  (Exodus 20:3)

I've gained a new perspective to consider as I fill my calendar: 

Am I devoting my time and energy to Him?

How do I spend my free time?  What are my idols?

Lord, please direct my thoughts and help me to prioritize you above all else. 

life

I was road tripping home after a day at the amusement park.    A quiet car and a straight road ahead.
It was almost twilight and the road was lined with dark green trees.   There was a gray cloud cover overhead.    The clouds were unusually intricate with deep swirls and a distinct 3D effect.   They were dark and gloomy.... yet filled with so much beauty and exquisite detail.   I marveled at how God had placed the clouds and brush stroked them across the sky exactly in that fashion, at that time, for me to witness.
In the horizon at the end of the road was a bright sun and a glowing yellow sky.   I kept anticipating that the sunlight would break through the clouds as I made my way down the highway.     Mile after mile, the clouds were above and the yellow glow was just out of reach.   Until, all of a sudden I realized that I had driven out from under the cloud cover.   The sky had opened up wide with beautiful shades of sleepy blue.   The bright yellow sun that I had expected for miles was gone.   But in it's place was something beautiful...perhaps more beautiful... and entirely different than what I had anticipated.  The driving was easy that day and I thanked God for the opportunity to travel.

I glanced at the sleeping kids in the backseat and looked over to the man sitting next to me and thought, "that's life."